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To Laugh Or Not To Laugh, That Is The Joke!
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Angel
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 Posted: Sun Apr 29th, 2007 08:10 pm

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LMAO at that last one, DFG, Holy crap!  HAHAHAHAHAHA!



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Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Tue May 1st, 2007 02:08 pm

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HOW TO CLEAN THE HOUSE



1.  Open a new file in your PC

2.  Name it "Housework."

3.  Send it to the RECYCLE BIN.

4.  Empty the RECYCLE BIN.

5.  Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure To delete Housework Permanently?"

6.  Calmly answer, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly..................

7.  Feel better?



 

Last edited on Wed May 2nd, 2007 02:44 am by

Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Tue May 1st, 2007 09:19 pm

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You've heard of the British male past time of setting light to their FARTS?!

Last edited on Wed May 2nd, 2007 07:44 pm by Dragonflygurl

mayaXXX
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 Posted: Wed May 2nd, 2007 02:43 am

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Dragonflygurl wrote:
*Cough, choke, sputter* OMG, that's hysterical !!!



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Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Fri May 4th, 2007 06:05 pm

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Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Fri May 4th, 2007 06:06 pm

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Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Fri May 4th, 2007 06:07 pm

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Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Sat May 5th, 2007 05:23 pm

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DON'T EAT CHICKEN SANDWICHES

Don't eat chicken sandwiches, no matter what.....

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became
friends.

Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered
that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day!
This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he
noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich.
He said, "Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it
anymore?"
She said "I love it but I have to stop eating it."

"Why?" he asked.
She pointed to her lap and said

"Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!"
"Let me see" he said.
"Okay" and she pulled up her skirt.
He looked and said, "That's right. You are!

Better not eat any more chicken."
He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut
butter.
He said to the little girl, "I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches,

I'm starting to get feathers down there too!"
She asked if she could look, so he pulled down his pants for her.

She said "Oh, my God, it's too late for you!

You've already got the neck and the gizzards!!!

Angel
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 Posted: Sun May 6th, 2007 05:17 am

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The moods of a Woman:

An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,
a woman is a bundle of contradiction,
she's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,
but will tackle her boyfriend alone in the house.
She'll take him for better, she'll take him for worse
she'll break open his head and then be his nurse
but when he's well and can get out of bed
she'll pick up the tea-pot and aim for his head.
Beautiful and keenly sighted, yet blind,
crafty and cruel, yet simple and kind
she'll call him a king, then make him a clown,
raise him on a pedestal, then knock him flat down.
She'll inspire him to deeds that ennoble man,
or make him her lackey to carry her fan.
She'll run away from him and never come back
but if he runs away, then she'll be on his tracks
Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,
she'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose,
she'll win you in range, enchant you in silk,
she'll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk
at times she'll be vengeful, merry and sad,
she'll hate you like poison, and love you like mad.


And these are the few moods of a man.


Tired and horny.



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Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Sun May 6th, 2007 09:15 am

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This is my collection of Bad Taste Bears. You can see I have a warped sick sense of humour can't you, lol.

Ketana
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 Posted: Sun May 6th, 2007 04:44 pm

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she's such a slut her diaphram has to have call waiting..

*snark*



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Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Mon May 7th, 2007 04:20 pm

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WHY GOD MADE MOMS

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.


How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger
parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of ?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in
the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use
string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty
bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk
on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to
chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof
ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause
that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic; they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of
plastic surgery.
2. Dye it. You know her hair. I'd dye it, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid
of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did
it and not me! .
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her
head.

Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Tue May 8th, 2007 07:59 pm

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NoClockThing
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 Posted: Tue May 8th, 2007 09:27 pm

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Angel
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 Posted: Wed May 9th, 2007 12:23 pm

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Backwoods High Tech
 



    

Backup - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods.
Bug - The reason you give for calling in sick.
Byte - What your pitbull done to cousin Jethro.
Chip - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in.
Terminal - Time to call the undertaker.
Crash - When you go to Junior's party uninvited.
Digital - The art of counting on your fingers.
Diskette - Female Disco dancer.
Fax - What you lie about to the IRS.
Hacker - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking.
Hardcopy - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos.
Internet - Where cafeteria workers put their hair.
Keyboard - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere.
Mac - Big Bubba's favorite fast food.
Megahertz - How your head feels after 17 beers.
Modem - What you do when the grass gets too high.
Mouse Pad - Where Mickey and Minnie live.
Network - Scooping up a big fish before it breaks the line.
ROM - Where the pope lives.
Screen - Keeps mosquitoes off the porch.
Serial Port - A red wine you drink with breakfast.
Superconductor - Amtrak's Employee of the year.
SCSI (pronounced scuzzi) - What you call your week-old underwear.



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