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Angel
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This thread is devoted to anything Christmas!  Jokes, Pics, websites, songs, you name it, if it's Christmas, this the place to be!

Merry Christmas In Other Languages!

Afrikander - "Een Plesierige Kerfees"

Arabic - "I'd Miilad Said Oua Sana Saida"

Argentine - "Felices Pasquas Y felices ano Nuevo"

Armenian - "Shenoraavor Nor Dari yev Pari Gaghand"

Basque - Eguberri on

Bohemian - "Vesele Vanoce"

Breton - "Nedeleg laouen na bloavezh mat"

Bulgarian - "Tchestita Koleda; Tchestito Rojdestvo Hristovo"

Chinese - [Mandarin] - "Kung His Hsin Nien bing Chu Shen Tan"

Chinese - [Catonese] - "Saint Dan Fai Lok"

Cornish - "Nadelik looan na looan blethen noweth"

Croatian - "Sretan Bozic i Nova Godina" (Merry Christmas & Happy New Year)

Czech - "Prejeme Vam Vesele Vanoce a stastny Novy Rok"

Danish - "Glædelig Jul"

Dutch - "Vrolijk Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar"

Inupiaq Eskimo (Kotzebue area in NW Alaska)-
Quvianagli Anaiyyuniqpaliqsi suli Nakuuluni Ukiutqiutiqsi-
(Merry Christmas) (and) (Happy New Year)

English - "Merry Christmas"

Estonian - "Haid joule ja head uut aastat"

Farsi - "Cristmas-e-shoma mobarak bashad"

Filipino-"Maligayang Pasko"

Happy New Year in Filipino

"Manigong Bagong Taon"

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year in Filipino- "Maligayang Pasko at Manigong Bagong Taon"

Finnish - "Hyvaa joulua"

French - "Joyeux Noël"

German - "Froehliche Weihnachten"

Greek - "Kala Christouyenna"

Hawaiian - "Mele Kalikimaka"

Hebrew - "Mo'adim Lesimkha. Chena tova"

Hindi - "Shub Naya Baras"

Hungarian - "Kellemes Karacsonyi unnepeket"

Icelandic - "Gledileg Jol"

Indonesian - "Selamat Hari Natal"

Iraqi - "Idah Saidan Wa Sanah Jadidah"

Irish - "Nollaig Shona Dhuit"

Italian - "Buone Feste Natalizie"

Italian - Buon Natale! (per Aeon!)

Japanese -" Shinnen omedeto, kurisumasu omedeto.
The first part is translated "Happy New Year.
Kurisumasu omedeto means Merry Christmas.
Japanese people generally add the expression gozaimasu to indicate soemm humility.

Korean - "Sung Tan Chuk Ha"

Latvian - "Prieci'gus Ziemsve'tkus un Laimi'gu Jauno Gadu"

Lithuanian - "Linksmu Kaledu"

Navajo - "Merry Keshmish"

Norwegian - "God Jul"

Pennsylvania German - "En frehlicher Grischtdaag un en hallich Nei Yaahr"

Polish - "Wesolych Swiat Bozego Narodzenia"

Portuguese - "Feliz Natal" "Boas Festas"(Good Holidays.)

Rumanian - "Sarbatori Fericite"

Russian - "Pozdrevlyayu s prazdnikom Rozhdestva s Novim Godom"

Serbian - "Hristos se rodi"

Slovakian - "Sretan Bozic or Vesele vianoce"

Samoan - "La Maunia Le Kilisimasi Ma Le Tausaga Fou"

Scots Gaelic - "Nollaig chridheil huibh"

Serb-Croatian - "Sretam Bozic. Vesela Nova Godina"

Slovak - "Vesele Vianoce. A stastlivy Novy Rok"

Slovene - "Vesele Bozicne. Screcno Novo Leto"

Spanish - "Feliz Navidad"

Swedish - "God Jul and (Och) Ett Gott Nytt År"

Tahitian -Merry Chrismas :" Ia orana te Noera"

and Happy new year is "Ia orana i te mata iti api"

Thai - "Sawadee Pee Mai"

Turkish - "Noeliniz Ve Yeni Yiliniz Kutlu Olsun"

Ukrainian - "Z Rizdvom Khrystovym !" - "Merry Christmas"

" Z Novym Rokom !" - "Happy New Year"

"Z Rizdvom Khrystovym i Novym Rokom !" - both greetings together.

Vietnamese - "Chuc Mung Giang Sinh"

Welsh - "Nadolig Llawen"

Yugoslavian - "Cestitamo Bozic"

:ani-sign:

Dragonflygurl
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Your Christmas Song Is



<a href="Feliz'> Navidad</a>

Feliz Navidad
Prospero año y Felicidad
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas
From the bottom of my heart

At your place, Christmas is different every year
You like to throw out tradition, and have your own wacky holiday

What Christmas Carol Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/whatchristmascarolareyouquiz/

Last edited on Thu Nov 30th, 2006 03:46 pm by Dragonflygurl

Dragonflygurl
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You Are a Bright Christmas Tree



For you, the holidays are all about fun and seasonal favorites.
You are into all things Christmas, even if they're a little tacky.


What Christmas Tree Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/whatchristmastreeareyouquiz/

aeonflux
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I would like to make an addendum to the list please :c030a:

Italian - Buon Natale!

Dragonflygurl
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You Are Dasher



You're an independent minded reindeer who never plays by the rules.

Why You're Naughty: That little coup you tried to stage against Santa last year

Why You're Nice: You secretly give naughty children presents.

Which of Santa's Reindeer Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/whichofsantasreindeerareyouquiz/

Angel
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Your Christmas Song Is



<a href="Have'>http://click.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/click?id=CkIfgYlVpZA&offerid=99176.471058867&type=10&subid=">Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas</a>

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on,
Our troubles will be out of sight

From baking cookies to giving gifts to everyone...
You enjoy brightening up the season for those you know

What Christmas Carol Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/whatchristmascarolareyouquiz/

Angel
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You Are a Cranberry and Popcorn Strung Tree



Christmas is all about showcasing your creative talents.
From cookies to nicely wrapped presents, your unique creations impress everyone.

What Christmas Tree Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/whatchristmastreeareyouquiz/

Angel
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aeonflux wrote: I would like to make an addendum to the list please :c030a:

Italian - Buon Natale!

LOL, Okay, I added another Italian one.

Angel
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You Are Dancer



Carefree and fun, you always find reasons to do a happy dance.

Why You're Naughty: That dark stint you had as Santa's private dancer.

Why You're Nice: You're friendly. Very friendly.

Which of Santa's Reindeer Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/whichofsantasreindeerareyouquiz/

Angel
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Christmas Tongue Twisters


Seven Santas sang silly songs.

Tiny Timmy trims the tall tree with tinsel.

Santa's sleigh slides on slick snow.

Bobby brings bright bells.

How many deer would a reindeer reign if a reindeer could reign deer?

Running reindeer romp 'round red wreaths.

Kris Kringle chose to climb the chimney at Christmas.

Chilly chipper children cheerfully chant.

Two trains travel together to Toyland.

Eleven elves licked eleven little licorice lollipops.

Santa's sack sags slightly.

Ten tiny tin trains toot ten times.

Santa stuffs Stephie's striped stocking.

There's chimney soot on Santa's suit.

Comet cuddles cute Christmas kittens carefully.

Kris Kringle clapped crisply.

mayaXXX
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XS4Xevr
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My Favorite Christmas Music Video:


"CHRISTMAS IN LIGHTS"


(Yep -The one with the House with 10,000+ lights dancing to a fast-paced song.)

See the Video:


http://www.mypartypost.com/watchvideo/1033/Best_Christmas_Lights_Display_Ever

 

Read the Scoop of who/ what/ when/ where/ how/:


http://www.snopes.com/photos/arts/xmaslights.asp


(music: "Wizards in Winter" by Trans-Siberian Orchestra)


(If anyone sees a full-screen version on TV someplace, please drop a memo! -besides that beer commercial, that is!)


 

aeonflux
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Angel wrote: aeonflux wrote: I would like to make an addendum to the list please :c030a:

Italian - Buon Natale!

LOL, Okay, I added another Italian one.


Thank you much! That's the right way to say it :icon_wink:

Angel
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XS4Xevr wrote:
My Favorite Christmas Music Video:



"CHRISTMAS IN LIGHTS"


(Yep -The one with the House with 10,000+ lights dancing to a fast-paced song.)


See the Video:


http://www.mypartypost.com/watchvideo/1033/Best_Christmas_Lights_Display_Ever

 


 

I always am amazed every time I see it at how he did it, thanks for posting the links with the explanations!

Dragonflygurl
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One the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me, one :7902:790 robothead in a pear tree.

Last edited on Fri Dec 1st, 2006 08:17 pm by Dragonflygurl

Ketana
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mayaXXX wrote:
lol yeah...the dead do not ho ho ho!

Dragonflygurl
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"On the Table"


He laid her on the table.
So white clean and bare.
His forehead wet with beads of sweat.
He rubbed her here and there.
He touched her neck and then her breast.
And then drooling felt her thigh.
The slit was wet and all was set,
He gave a joyous cry.
The hole was wide...he looked inside.
All was dark and murky.
He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms...
And then he stuffed the turkey.


 

Dragonflygurl
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Twas the night before Christmas,
When all through the house,

Everybody felt shitty even the mouse.
With Mom at the whore house,

And dad smoking grass,
I'd just settled down for a nice piece of ass!

When out on the lawn I hear such a clatter,
I sprung from my piece to see what was the matter!

When out on the lawn I saw a big dick,
I knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick.

He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell,
I knew in a moment the fucker had fell!

He filled all our stockings with pretzels and beer,
And a big rubber dick for my brother, the queer.

He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart,
The son of a bitch blew the chimney apart!

He swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight,
Piss on you all and have a Hell of a night
!




Dragonflygurl
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Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa?

Last edited on Fri Dec 1st, 2006 08:38 pm by Dragonflygurl

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Ketana
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LOL oh look a hole in one! buwahahahahahaha

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Angel
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Cranberry Punch


This sparkling red punch is a good choice for a buffet at holiday time with a citrus bite. For a less sweet punch, substitute seltzer or club soda for the ginger ale.

Makes about 1 1/2 quarts.
Total time: 20 minutes, plus chilling time.





Ingredients


2 cups cranberry juice
2 cups pineapple juice
1 cup orange juice
3/4 cup triple sec (optional)
1 pint strawberries, hulled and sliced
1 lime, thinly sliced
4 cups ginger ale, chilled



Instructions


Step 1:
In a large glass container, combine ingredients and chill thoroughly.

Step 2:
Just before serving, slowly stir in the ginger ale. Pour into a punch bowl or large jug and add ice cubes.

Last edited on Sun Dec 3rd, 2006 02:24 pm by Angel

Angel
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Wild Turkey Candy


This one is only for the adults since it's made with bourbon!

*hint*  You can always drink the bourbon yourself for some real holiday cheer!  *hic*




Ingredients


1/4 cup soft butter
1/3 cup Wild Turkey Bourbon
1 lb. Powdered sugar (you may need more if too runny)

1 bag (about 1 1/2 lbs.) chocolate chips

1 to 1 1/2 bags of pecans



Instructions


Mix butter, sugar and bourbon together till stiff.

Melt chocolate chips in microwave then stir.

Roll the wild turkey mixture into small oval shapes (keeping powdered sugar on hands makes it less sticky) about as big as the pecan. Put pecan 1/2 on each side of ball and dip narrow side in chocolate. Set and serve.

Makes about 100 pieces.

Angel
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'Twas the Night After Christmas'Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy.


The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife, the worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives. My wife couldn't argue and neither could I, so I watched TV and my wife, she just cried.

When out in the yard the dog started barkin', I stood up and looked and I saw Sheriff Larkin. He yelled, "Roy I am sworn to uphold the laws and I got a complaint here from a feller named Claus."

I said, "Claus, I don't know nobody named Claus, and you ain't taking me in without probable cause." Then the Sheriff he said, "The man was shot at last night." I said, "That might have been me, just what's he look like."

The Sheriff replied, "Well he's a jolly old feller, with a big beer gut belly, that shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly. He sports a long beard, and a nose like a cherry." I said, "Sheriff that sounds like my wife's sister Sherri."

"It's no time for jokes Roy" the Sheriff he said. "The man I'm describing in dressed all in red. I'm here for the truth now, it's time to come clean. Tell me what you've done, tell me what you've seen."

Well I started to lie then I thought what the hell, it wouldn't have been the first time that I've spent New Years in jail. I said, "Sheriff it happened last night about ten, and I thought that my wife had been drinking again."

When she walked in from work she was as white as a ghost. I thought maybe she had seen one of them UFO's. But she said that a bunch of deer had just flown over her head, and stopped on the roof of our good neighbour Red.

Well I ran outside to look and the sight made me shudder, a freezer full of venison standing right on Red's gutter. Well my hands were a shakin' as I grabbed my gun, when outta Red's chimney this feller did run.

And slung on his back was this bag over flowin'. I thought he stolen Red's stuff while old Red was out bowling'. So I yelled, "Drop fat boy, hands in the air!" But he went about his business like he hadn't a care.

So I popped a warning shot over his head. Well he dropped that bag and he jumped in that sled. And as he flew off I heard him extort, "That's assault with intent Roy, I'll see ya in court."

Dragonflygurl
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What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
Their balls are just for decoration.

Angel
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The Night Before Christmas in Brooklyn
 
'Twas the night before Christmas,
Da whole house was mella,
Not a creature was strirrin',
Cuz I had a gun unda da pilla.
When up on da roof
I heard somethin' pound,
I sprung to da window,
To scream, "YO! Keep it down!"
When what to my
Wanderin' eyes should appear,
But da Don of all elfs,
And eight friggin' reindeer!
Wit' slicked back black hair,
And a silk red suit,
Don Christopher wuz here,
And he brought da loot!
Wit' a slap to dare snouts
And a yank on dare manes,
He cursed and he shouted
And he called dem by name
"Yo Tony, Yo Frankie,
Yo Vinny, Yo Vito,
Ay Joey, Ay Paulie,
Ay Pepe, Ay Guido!"
As I drew out my gun
And hid by da bed,
He flew troo da winda
And slapped me 'side da head.
"What da hell you doin'
Pullin' a gun on da Don?
Now all you're gettin' is coal,
You friggin' moron!"
Den pointin' a fat finga
Right unda my nose,
He twisted his pinky ring,
And up da chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh,
Obscenities screamin',
Away dey all flew,
Before he troo dem a beatin'.
Den I heard him yell out,
What I did least expect,
"Merry Friggin' Christmas to all,
And yous better show some respect!"

Ketana
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Pussy wants to wish you all a very Merry Christmas!


Angel
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Cats' Top Ten Favorite Christmas Songs
                  
10. Up on the Mousetop
9. Have Yourself a Furry Little Christmas
8. Joy to the Curled
7. I Saw Mommy Hiss at Santa Claus
6. The First Meow
5. Oh, Come All Ye Fishful
4. Silent Mice
3. Fluffy, the Snowman
2. Jingle Balls
1. Wreck the Halls!

XS4Xevr
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Often written "X-mas", Out of "XMaus" Divine Inspiration I was compelled to search images for "X-Mouse" wondering what manner of visions might I meet, but after clicking the following, my Mouse would click no further!!



link: http://anterras.net/cgi-bin/archiveview.cgi?x_mouse_card_rh.jpg&000000

 

Last edited on Wed Dec 6th, 2006 06:19 am by XS4Xevr

Ketana
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Angel
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Twelve Pains of Christmas
        Chorus :
        The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
        Is finding a Christmas tree.
        .
        The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
        Husband (2): Rigging up the lights,
        C: And finding a Christmas tree.
        .
        The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
        Inebreated man (3): Hangovers,
        2: Rigging up the lights,
        C: And finding a Christmas tree.
        .
        The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
        Frustrated man (4): Sending Christmas cards,
        3: Hangovers,
        2: Rigging up the lights,
        C: And finding a Christmas tree.
        .
        The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
        Five months of bills,
        4: Sending Christmas cards,
        3: Hangovers,
        2: Rigging up the lights,
        C: And finding a Christmas tree.
        .
        The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
        Frustrated wife (6): Facing my in-laws,
        C: Five months of bills,
        4: Oh, I hate those Christmas cards,
        3: Hangovers,
        2: Rigging up these lights,
        C: And finding a Christmas tree.
        .
        The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
        Angry man (7): The Salvation Army,
        6: Facing my in-laws,
        C: Five months of bills,
        4: Sending Christmas cards,
        3: Oh, Jeez!
        2: I'm trying to rig up these lights!
        C: And finding a Christmas tree.
        .
        The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
        Loud kid (8): I WANNA FURBY FOR CHRISTMAS!
        7: Charities And what do you mean, "your in-laws"?!?
        C: Five months of bills,
        4: Oh, making out these cards,
        3: Edith, get me a beer, huh?
        2: What we have no extension cords?!?
        C: And finding a Christmas tree.
        .
        The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
        Another frustrated man (9): No parking spaces,
        8: DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!!
        7: Donations!
        6: Facing my in-laws,
        C: Five months of bills,
        4: Writing out those Christmas cards,
        3: Hangovers,
        2: Now why the hell are they blinking?!?
        C: And finding a Christmas tree.
        .
        The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
        other (10): "Batteries not included",
        9: No parking spaces,
        8: BUY ME SOMETHIN'!!!!
        7: Get a job, ya bum!!!
        6: (sobbing) Oh, facing my in-laws,
        C: Five months of bills,
        4: Yo, ho! Sending Christmas cards,
        3: Oh, Jeez, look at this!
        2: One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!
        C: And finding a Christmas tree.
        .
        The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
        TV Critic (11): Stale TV specials,
        10: "Batteries not included",
        9: No parking spaces,
        8: I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!!
        7: Charities!!
        6: (sobbing) She's a witch! I hate her!
        C: Five months of bills,
        4: Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people!
        3: Oh, who's got the toilet paper?
        2: Get a flashlight!! I blew a fuse!!!
        C: And finding a Christmas tree.
        .
        The twelth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
        A few guys: Singing Christmas Carols,
        11: Stale TV specials,
        10: "Batteries not included",
        9: No parking?
        8: WAAAAAAH!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
        7: Charities!
        6: Gotta make 'em dinner!
        C: Five months of bills,
        4: I'm not sending them this year, that's it!
        3: Shut up, you!
        2: FINE!! If you're so smart, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!!!
        C: And finding a Christmas tree.

CheshireKat
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Christmas At Ground Zero Weird Al Yankovic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_CP3OKWGYE

CheshireKat
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12 Pains of Christmas
Click to see Audio

Angel
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Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday
buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact,
if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where
they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine
single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than
single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year
but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories
in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an
eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one
for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole
point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make
a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy.
Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with
skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother?
It's like buying a sports car with an automatic
transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort
to control your eating. The whole point of going to a
Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots
of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now
and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have
nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which
you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a
10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet
table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size
of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have
as many as you can before becoming the center of attention.
They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them
behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of
each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and
one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have
more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with
the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all
cost. I mean, have SOME standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave
the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying
attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is
just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the
intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well
preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in
one hand, martini in the other, totally worn out and
screaming,

"WOO HOO what a ride!"

mayaXXX
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Mana: 
Ah such lovely words to live by...may I offer some more 'Rules of Xmas?"

11. Don't under any circumstances dress to impress with tight fitting clothes at a Holday dinner. You'll only be miserable and it's  not the point to wear a skin-tight pair of leather pants and a bustier. Wear a huge holiday sweater and stretch jeans. Get a clue. You'll thank me in the end.

12.  Bringing a dish to a pot-luck office dinner is a rule in some offices. If you're a guy, forget the food, you can't cook anyway, bring booze. If you're a girl, if you don't have a specialty that everyone likes, just buy baked goods, everyone eats desserts but not eveyrone eats a Tuna/cheese/potato chip casserole.

13. Beware the seafood based yummies. It's not the season for shrimp in December,and the longer they're left out, the more intense your food poisoning will be later.

14.  If conversation with others interferes with your eating strategies, avoid it. After all, if it were a talk-fest, there wouldn't be food and booze.

15. Make sure to have a stand-by mode of transportation home. Like a limo with a bed made up in the back with a turn-down service, I guarantee you'll fall asleep at the wheel from all the food and drink and this way you won't have to worry about a DWI or FWI on the way home (Food while driving)

16. Never show up empty handed to a party. Bring liquor, everyone likes liquor. It will get you into the most exclusive parties depending on what you bring. Don't be cheap. Forget the 'Boone's Farm Apple wine' and stick with single malt scotch.

17. Compliment the hostess on her outfit before you start eating, that way you won't  spit crab salad all over her Holday Versace outfit, making it necessary  for you to be escorted to the door and thrown into the snow.

18. Edible Christmas decorations (cookie Xmas tree ornaments, etc) are NOT to be eaten, it's just the idea of them that's cute, not the actual eating.

19. If the Hostess or Host has a pet, slipping it food from your plate is a bad idea. It will take that as permission to scarf your food down while you're at the bar refreshing your drink. And the hosts might take offense to their dog or cat being flung into the Christmas tree for eating your roast beef.

20.  Kids are also to be avoided. You'll end up reading them stories or playing 'Hide and Seek' for hours while the buffet dwindles to a few crumbs of bread left on the table and then where would you be? Best to act as if you're allergic to the fabric softener in their clothes, that way you can visibly avoid them without the Hosts becoming angry, which would of course result in you being thrown into the snow once again.

 

:ani-sign:

 

Ketana
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and one tip from the E-BIL lioness..

 

Office Party.

Standing under the mistletoe is a no no!

Sucking face with the boss is also another no no! especially if his wife has been invited to the party!

Blackmailing the boss with office pictures from the Holiday Party is a no-no and you will not get that Christmas bonus you were panting after either!

Spiking the Christmas punch is a no-no. 'Sides Sybil from Office Services is prolly watching! 

otherwise have fun!! and don't forget ya camera! buwahahahahahaha..   

mayaXXX
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Mana: 
Blackmailing the boss with office pictures from the Holiday Party is a no-no and you will not get that Christmas bonus you were panting after either!
Unquore:


Speak for yourself, heheh..

:flucht01:

Angel
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A Christman Card from Santa
 
I'm sending this card to tell you
That taxes have taken away
The things that I really needed --
My workshop, my reindeer, my sleigh,


Now I'm making my rounds on a jackass,
He's old, he's crippled, he's slow,
So you'll know if I don't see you at Xmas,
It's cause I'm out on my ass in the snow.

Ketana
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Mana: 


 

Stick it under the Xmas tree!!

Angel
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Mana: 
Ketana wrote:

 

Stick it under the Xmas tree!!

But I'd rather stick it somewhere else.  :bigO::haha:

mayaXXX
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Mana: 
Well I just got my first batch of Angel's Christmas Russian teacake cookies and I have to say... I'm going to have to compose a sonnet or two for these luscious little treats...

ODE TO A RUSSIAN TEACAKE...

Ah, your buttery goodness,

your lighter than air crunch,

your whiter than white globes,

bringing to mind Winters past and present,

melting like the Vanilla Spring of sugar,

on a warmed tongue but leaving

a promise of Walnut essence  just out of reach.

How can I live without this taste of 'Winter Heaven'?

Just one more nibble, I vow to myself, and then

succumb to temptation beyond all rational thought,

and float to Nirvana once more.

MINE, MINE I TELL YOU, GET AWAY...GRRRRRRRRRR !!

*Y'all think I'm kidding?"

 

:xmasbanner1:

:ani-light1:

 

 

Ketana
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Mana: 
mayaXXX wrote: Well I just got my first batch of Angel's Christmas Russian teacake cookies and I have to say... I'm going to have to compose a sonnet or two for these luscious little treats...

ODE TO A RUSSIAN TEACAKE...

Ah, your buttery goodness,

your lighter than air crunch,

your whiter than white globes,

bringing to mind Winters past and present,

melting like the Vanilla Spring of sugar,

on a warmed tongue but leaving

a promise of Walnut essence  just out of reach.

How can I live without this taste of 'Winter Heaven'?

Just one more nibble, I vow to myself, and then

succumb to temptation beyond all rational thought,

and float to Nirvana once more.

MINE, MINE I TELL YOU, GET AWAY...GRRRRRRRRRR !!

*Y'all think I'm kidding?"

 

:xmasbanner1:

:ani-light1:

 

 

lol so they were that good huh?

mayaXXX
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Mana: 
GET AWAY *SMACKS KETANA'S HANDS* You're just over here to steal them, I know you, go away, leave me alone with my Teacakes !! "It's just you and me against the world my lovelies, no one can love you like I can...." GRRRRRRRRRRRR !!

:grrr-sign:    :u055a:

Angel
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Mana: 
mayaXXX wrote: Well I just got my first batch of Angel's Christmas Russian teacake cookies and I have to say... I'm going to have to compose a sonnet or two for these luscious little treats...

ODE TO A RUSSIAN TEACAKE...

Ah, your buttery goodness,

your lighter than air crunch,

your whiter than white globes,

bringing to mind Winters past and present,

melting like the Vanilla Spring of sugar,

on a warmed tongue but leaving

a promise of Walnut essence  just out of reach.

How can I live without this taste of 'Winter Heaven'?

Just one more nibble, I vow to myself, and then

succumb to temptation beyond all rational thought,

and float to Nirvana once more.

MINE, MINE I TELL YOU, GET AWAY...GRRRRRRRRRR !!

*Y'all think I'm kidding?"

 

:xmasbanner1:

:ani-light1:

 

 


*backs away slowly from Maya*  They're just teacakes honey.....nothing special....

(now that I have her hooked, her soul is mine, buahahahahahaha!) :smoke::4444:

 

Ketana
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Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged


Holiday Favorite

Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality Disorder - We Three Kings Disoriented Are

Dementia - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas

Narcissistic - Hark The Herald Angels Sing About Me

Manic - Deck The Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Offices and
towns and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and...

Paranoid - Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me

Borderline Personality - Thoughts Of Roasting On An Open Fire

Personality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

Obsessive Compulsive - Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle, Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells..............


a

Ketana
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Angel
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The timeless tradition of decorating the Christmas tree, a little history.



Enter any department store from now until New Year’s and aisles packed with plastic ornaments, glistening garland, and blinking lights will greet you at every turn. What was once a simple family tradition has become a multimillion-dollar industry with decorations becoming more elaborate and costly each year. Where did this tradition begin and how did it become such an integral part of the holiday festivities?

Like the majority of practices associated with Christmas, the tradition arose from the intermingling of ancient Roman beliefs and the spreading Christian religion. Early Christians believed certain trees flowered unseasonably on Christmas Eve as homage to Jesus’ birth. This belief combined with the Roman practice of decorating their homes with greenery for the New Year formed the basis of our modern fascination with icicles and fancy angel tree toppers.

The decorating of various structures and trees has been recorded in Europe from the 17th century on, but the first written account of a “Christmas tree” did not appear until 1605. According to John Matthew’s The Winter Solstice, an anonymous German citizen that year recorded trees being decorated with “roses cut out of many colored paper, apples, wafers, gold-foil, [and] sweets”. What about chaser lights and oodles of wrapped gifts? It was more than 100 years later when Professor Karl Gottfried Kissling of the University of Wittenburg wrote of people adding candles for decorations and placing children’s wrapped branches around the bottom of the small indoor trees.

Even though the practice was initially condemned by religious leaders, it spread from Germany to Finland through Norway and Denmark. In 1840, Queen Victoria and Prince Albert of England endorsed the tradition by displaying their own ornately decorated tree at their palace. By the early 1900s, decorating the tree was as much a part of Christmas as Santa Claus and opening presents.

Of course, the early trees were decorated differently than today’s evergreens. Early ornaments were usually hand-crafted or edible. Nuts, candies, fruits, and pieces of colored paper were the most common. The average modern tree is decorated with a combination of store-bought ornaments and family memorabilia with several strings of lights strewn over the branches instead of candles, but no matter how the tree is decorated it still symbolizes a timeless Christmas tradition of families gathered together exchanging presents and love.

Angel
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Christmas superstitions -

It is said :

- "The child born on Christmas Day will have a special fortune."


- "Snow on Christmas means Easter will be green."


- You will have as many happy months in the coming year, as the number of houses you eat mince pies in during Christmastime.


- In Greece, some people burn their old shoes during the Christmas season to prevent misfortunes in the coming year.


- To have good health throughout the next year, eat an apple on Christmas Eve.


- The gates of Heaven open at midnight on Christmas Eve. Those who die then go straight to Heaven (an Irish beleif).


- Christmas candles should be left burning until Christmas morning and should rest undisturbed from time of lighting until they are snuffed.


- Singing Christmas carols at any time other than during the festive season is unlucky.


- The yule log should be lit by a piece of the log used on the previous Christmas. Once that is done, no evil spirit can then enter into the house. The remains of the Yule log were also considered lucky, and would be a protection against lightning or fire.


 

Dragonflygurl
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Mana: 
Here's one for Angel, as she's told me in the past she drinks rather a lot of this.  Mountain Dew Christmas tree.



And here's the link that that photo comes from and how it was made.  It even lights up.

http://mdewtree.com/

Angel
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Mana: 
Dragonflygurl wrote: Here's one for Angel, as she's told me in the past she drinks rather a lot of this.  Mountain Dew Christmas tree.



And here's the link that that photo comes from and how it was made.  It even lights up.

http://mdewtree.com/

That is so friggin' kewl, DFG!  I love it!  I gave up the dew totally, but have gone back on it on a here and there basis. 

Ketana
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Oh Tannenbaum..oh Tannenbaum, a squirrely squirrel has taken home..

Angel
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Ketana
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Mana: 
your very own pin-up Santa!


Angel
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1. Oh, member of the round table with missing areas

2. Boulder of the tinkling metal spheres

3. Vehicular homicide was committed on Dad's mom by a precipitous darling

4. Wanted in December: top forward incisors

5. The apartment of two psychiatrists

6. The lad is a diminutive percussionist

7. Sir Lancelot with laryngitis

8. Decorate the entryways

9. Cup-shaped instruments fashioned of a whitish metallic element

10. Oh small Israel urban center

11. Far off in a haybin

12. We are Kong, Lear, and Nat Cole

13. Duodecimal enumeration of the passage of the yuletide season

14. Leave and broadcast from an elevation

15. Our fervent hope is that you thoroughly enjoy your yuletide season

16. Listen, the winged heavenly messengers are proclaiming tunefully

17. As the guardians of the woolly animals protected their charges in
    the dark hours

18. I beheld a trio of nautical vessels moving in this direction

19. Jubilation to the entire terrestrial globe

20. Do you perceive the same vibrations which stimulate my auditory sense
    organ?

21. A joyful song of reverence relative to hollow metallic vessels which
    vibrate and bring forth a ringing sound when struck

22. Parent was observed osculating a red-coated unshaven teamster

23. May the Deity bestow an absence of fatigue to mild male humans

24. Rose-colored uncouth dolf is aware of the nature of precipitation,
    darling Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!

Answers to Christmas Songs
  |
  |
  |
  |
  |
  |
  |
  |
  |
  |
  |
  |
  |
  |
  v

1. Oh, member of the round table with missing areas = Oh Holy Night

2. Boulder of the tinkling metal spheres = Jingle Bell Rock

3. Vehicular homicide was committed on Dad's mom by a precipitous darling =
   Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer

4. Wanted in December: top forward incisors = All I Want For Christmas Is My
   Two Front Teeth

5. The apartment of two psychiatrists = The Nutcracker Suite

6. The lad is a diminutive percussionist = Little Drummer Boy

7. Sir Lancelot with laryngitis = Silent Night

8. Decorate the entryways = Deck the Halls

9. Cup-shaped instruments fashioned of a whitish metallic element = Silver
   Bells

10. Oh small Israel urban center = Oh Little Town of Bethlehem

11. Far off in a haybin = Away in a Manger

12. We are Kong, Lear, and Nat Cole = We Three Kings

13. Duodecimal enumeration of the passage of the yuletide season = The Twelve
    Days of Christmas

14. Leave and broadcast from an elevation = Go Tell It on the Mountain

15. Our fervent hope is that you thoroughly enjoy your yuletide season =
    We Wish You a Merry Christmas

16. Listen, the winged heavenly messengers are proclaiming tunefully = Hark
    the Herald Angels Sing

17. As the guardians of the woolly animals protected their charges in the
    dark hours = Shepherds Watched Their Flocks By Night

18. I beheld a trio of nautical vessels moving in this direction = I Saw
    Three Ships

19. Jubilation to the entire terrestrial globe = Joy to the World

20. Do you perceive the same vibrations which stimulate my auditory sense
    organ? = Do You Hear What I Hear?

21. A joyful song of reverence relative to hollow metallic vessels which
    vibrate and bring forth a ringing sound when struck = Carol of the Bells

22. Parent was observed osculating a red-coated unshaven teamster = I Saw
    Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

23. May the Deity bestow an absence of fatigue to mild male humans = God Rest
    Ye Merry Gentlemen

24. Rose-colored uncouth dolf is aware of the nature of precipitation, darling =
    Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer


Dragonflygurl
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Ketana wrote: Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged



Holiday Favorite



Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality Disorder - We Three Kings Disoriented Are

Dementia - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas

Narcissistic - Hark The Herald Angels Sing About Me

Manic - Deck The Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Offices and
towns and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and...

Paranoid - Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me

Borderline Personality - Thoughts Of Roasting On An Open Fire

Personality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

Obsessive Compulsive - Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle, Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells..............






a


Well let me see my sister quite often tells me I'm Paranoid, I could do with a man in my life, so it's ok that Santa is coming to get me, lol.

Last edited on Thu Dec 14th, 2006 09:41 pm by Dragonflygurl

Angel
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Holiday Trivia


The average American takes six months to pay off holiday credit-card bills.

Pogonophobia: the fear of beards.

There are currently 78 people named S. Claus living in the U.S. -- and one
Kriss Kringle.

December is the most popular month for nose jobs.

Weight of Santa's sleigh loaded with one Beanie Baby for every kid on
earth: 333,333 tons.

Number of reindeer required to pull a 333,333-ton sleigh: 214,206 --
plus Rudolph.

Average wage of a mall Santa: $11 an hour. With real beard: $20.

To deliver his gifts in one night, Santa would have to make 822.6 visits
per second, sleighing at 3,000 times the speed of sound.  At that speed,
Santa and his reindeer would burst into flame instantaneously.

XS4Xevr
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Christmas Angel wrote:


To deliver his gifts in one night, Santa would have to make 822.6 visits
per second, sleighing at 3,000 times the speed of sound.  At that speed,
Santa and his reindeer would burst into flame instantaneously
.




Santa would have to be an utter idiot and outright stupid to even attempt that, in me humbled... (and them reindeer would have gone on strike making Santa go on a diet a long time ago!)


All Santa ever really needs to do is TO STOP TIME, and in that twinking of an eye to the rest of us, have his many legions of elves do all the delivering all over the Earth while time is stopped, while Santa himself never leaves the North Pole, sitting back in his easy chair sipping nog while Mrs. Kringle cooks up a hearty meal. (and who says he hasn't really been doing just that all along!)  :icon_wink: 


Angel
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XS4Xevr wrote:
Christmas Angel wrote:



To deliver his gifts in one night, Santa would have to make 822.6 visits
per second, sleighing at 3,000 times the speed of sound.  At that speed,
Santa and his reindeer would burst into flame instantaneously
.






Santa would have to be an utter idiot and outright stupid to even attempt that, in me humbled... (and them reindeer would have gone on strike making Santa go on a diet a long time ago!)



All Santa ever really needs to do is TO STOP TIME, and in that twinking of an eye to the rest of us, have his many legions of elves do all the delivering all over the Earth while time is stopped, while Santa himself never leaves the North Pole, sitting back in his easy chair sipping nog while Mrs. Kringle cooks up a hearty meal. (and who says he hasn't really been doing just that all along!)  :icon_wink: 



Hrmm...you're theory has much more merit and would make more sense.  But if Santa is lazing in the easy chair while Mrs. Kringle is cooking all the meals, wouldn't that make him kind of a lazy bastard? :xmas22: 

Dragonflygurl
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LOL

Attachment: santaelvis.jpg (Downloaded 5 times)

Dragonflygurl
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Oh I do love a bit of the Sugar Plum Fairy Music.  This amazing please go to the below and listen.

http://www.specialized.com/bc/microsite/holiday/index.html

Dragonflygurl
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You Are a Tree



You love every part of the holidays, down to the candy canes and stockings. And you're goofy enough to put a Christmas tree ornament on your tree!

What Christmas Ornament Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/whatchristmasornamentareyouquiz/

Dragonflygurl
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[b]For the twelve days of Christmas, your true love will send you:



Twelve glam rockers drumming
Eleven candycanes a-sticking
Ten reindeer a-leaping
Nine ladies singing
Eight alpacas a-milking
Seven rumballs a-drunkening
Six kittens a-meowing
Five Golden Girls
Four calling telemarketers
Three French tourists
Two bottles of whiskey
And a monkey in a cherry tree


What Will You Get for the 12 Days of Christmas?

http://www.blogthings.com/whatwillyougetforthe12daysofchristmasquiz/

Dragonflygurl
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Nope, You're Not a Grinch



Although you may feel Grinch-like at times, it's just because you're worn out from the holidays.
You get into the holiday spirit more than most people - and you truly enjoy celebrating with your family and friends.


Are You a Grinch?

http://www.blogthings.com/areyouagrinchquiz/

Ketana
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You Are a Snowman



Friendly and fun, you enjoy bringing holiday cheer to everyone you know!

What Christmas Ornament Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/whatchristmasornamentareyouquiz/

Ketana
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For the twelve days of Christmas, your true love will send you:



Twelve babies drumming
Eleven marshmallows a-puffing
Ten midgets a-leaping
Nine ladies baking cookies
Eight goats a-milking
Seven eggnogs a-intoxicating
Six kittens a-meowing
Five golden necklaces
Four calling prank callers
Three French chefs bearing escargot
Two starving Olsen twins
And a fairy in a olive tree

What Will You Get for the 12 Days of Christmas?

http://www.blogthings.com/whatwillyougetforthe12daysofchristmasquiz/

Ketana
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You Are Comet



A total daredevil, you're the reindeer with an edge!

Why You're Naughty: You almost gave Santa a heart attack when you took him sky diving

Why You're Nice: You always make sure the sleigh is going warp speed

Which of Santa's Reindeer Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/whichofsantasreindeerareyouquiz/

Angel
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For the twelve days of Christmas, your true love will send you:



Twelve glam rockers drumming
Eleven candycanes a-sticking
Ten gymnasts a-leaping
Nine ladies baking cookies
Eight alpacas a-milking
Seven rumballs a-drunkening
Six Santas a-hohohoing
Five golden coins
Four calling prank callers
Three French berets
Two stale fruit cakes
And a fairy in a olive tree

What Will You Get for the 12 Days of Christmas?

http://www.blogthings.com/whatwillyougetforthe12daysofchristmasquiz/

Angel
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You Are a Tree



You love every part of the holidays, down to the candy canes and stockings. And you're goofy enough to put a Christmas tree ornament on your tree!

What Christmas Ornament Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/whatchristmasornamentareyouquiz/

Angel
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Your Christmas is Most Like: A Very Brady Christmas



For you, it's all about sharing times with family.
Even if you all get a bit cheesy at times.

What Movie Is Your Christmas Most Like?

http://www.blogthings.com/whatmovieisyourchristmasmostlikequiz/

Dragonflygurl
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Your Christmas is Most Like: Home Alone



At Christmas, you usually feel like you're going it alone.
But you always have a crazy adventure!


What Movie Is Your Christmas Most Like?

http://www.blogthings.com/whatmovieisyourchristmasmostlikequiz/

Angel
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A Politically Correct Christmas


'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.

And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.

And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.

Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose

And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,

Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.

Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.

Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.

For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.

Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.

He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;

Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."

Dragonflygurl
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For all you Kai droolers and that includes me, I made this for you to enjoy.
I sadly can't get it to load so you'll have to click on the below link,  this link instead to view it.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v493/Dragonflygurl/XmasKai.swf





 

Last edited on Mon Dec 18th, 2006 07:42 pm by Dragonflygurl

Ketana
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This is a very, very delicious Puerto Rican drink that is savored during the Navidad and if you get a chance to make some..I highly recommend it!

Coquito


30 ounces coconut milk
14 ounces condensed milk
1 cup Bacardi rum
½ cup water
pinch of salt
½ tsp. cinnamon


Mix all ingredients in the blender. Taste and add more rum if you like it stronger. You need to add the water because it will get thicker later in the fridge. Pour into a bottle and refrigerate well. Make ahead for richer flavor. Serve in small glassware over ice.

Ketana
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I swear I had nothing to do with this!


Angel
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Ketana wrote: I swear I had nothing to do with this!




Tchyeah right!  You get Santa drunk then take lewd pictures of him!  You're definitely on his naughty list, young lady! :xmassliegh::xmas66:

:MC-4:

Last edited on Tue Dec 19th, 2006 08:12 pm by

Ketana
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Angel wrote: Ketana wrote: I swear I had nothing to do with this!



Tchyeah right!  You get Santa drunk then take lewd pictures of him!  You're definitely on his naughty list, young lady! :xmassliegh::xmas66:
:MC-4:whoops! I been found out! Oh well..chaos, depravity and sin..my work here is done! 

Last edited on Tue Dec 19th, 2006 08:13 pm by

Ketana
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HO HO WHOOPS

mayaXXX
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Angel
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What Reindeer Talk About During Their Christmas Flight


10. "Sheesh! What's he been eating this year? ROCKS?"

9. "He shouts all our names all the time, sure, but do you really
think he knows which one is which?"

8. "I never knew Donner had a tattoo THERE!"

7. "Sure...HIS seat is a floatation device. What about us?"

6. "Tried those new lite oats? You really should."

5. "Man, I hope we pause on a rooftop soon. I'm beat."

4. "HEY!" Watch the antlers there, buddy!"

3. "Did you hear you-know-who got a nose job?"

2. "You know, after a few hundred miles, these jingle bells
really get annoying!"

1. "So, you want to go someplace afterward for some reindeer
games?"

Angel
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Kids' Interpretations of Christmas Carol Lyrics


- Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly.

- We three kings of porridge and tar.

- On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me.

- Later on we'll perspire, as we dream by the fire.

- He's makin' a list, chicken and rice.

- Noel. Noel, Barney's the king of Israel.

- With the jelly toast proclaim.

- Olive, the other reindeer.

- Frosty the Snowman is a ferret elf, I say.

- Sleep in heavenly peas.

- In the meadow we can build a snowman, Then pretend that he is
  sparse and brown.

- You'll go down in Listerine.

- Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay.

- O come, froggy faithful.

- You'll tell Carol, "Be a skunk, I require."

- Good tidings we bring to you and your kid.

Ketana
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Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.


He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.


Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.


I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!




I've busted my ass for damn near a year,


Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?


The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.


The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.



Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.


Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.


And just when I thought that things would get better


Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,


They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny


Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?



And the kids these days--they all are the pits


They want the impossible--Those mean little shits


I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds


Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads


I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,


They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!



Flying through the air...dodging the trees


Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees


I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment


I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.



There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,


I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season

Ketana
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Ketana
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I got something for all those naughty little boys out there!


Dragonflygurl
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You Are a Creative Gift Giver



Your gifts are one of a kind, special, and well chosen.
Whether you've made it yourself or searched all over town...
There's really no one who has more of a personal touch than you.


What Kind of Gift Giver Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofgiftgiverareyouquiz/

Ketana
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Angel
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You Are a Funny Gift Giver



Your gifts are wacky, offbeat, and even borderline naughty.
You prefer to give a gift that makes someone crack up...
Forget utility. You prefer to give something that's totally hilarious.

What Kind of Gift Giver Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofgiftgiverareyouquiz/

Ketana
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Ketana
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This is what good girls get for Christmas!


Dragonflygurl
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Ketana wrote: This is what good girls get for Christmas!



I've been a good gurl, really I have.  Oh yummy I can have some of that then:):s010a:

Last edited on Fri Dec 22nd, 2006 01:56 am by Dragonflygurl

mayaXXX
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Ketana wrote: This is what good girls get for Christmas!




*GASP* Can I keep him? Can I ? Please??? I been a good girl...well almost a good girl...well really a pretty bad girl, but I think he'd like that !!!

:ani-sign:

Angel
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mayaXXX wrote: Ketana wrote: This is what good girls get for Christmas!




*GASP* Can I keep him? Can I ? Please??? I been a good girl...well almost a good girl...well really a pretty bad girl, but I think he'd like that !!!

:ani-sign:

If this is what a good girl gets, then what does a naughty girl get?  I've been really, really naughty.

Shenandora
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HOLY...! I've been good, really... What a pesent would that be...  ;-)

Ketana
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now now let's not fight..we've plenty of goodies for all good girls..

 

Angel
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Ketana wrote: now now let's not fight..we've plenty of goodies for all good girls..

 

But I'm NOT a good girl, so what do I get if I'm naughty? :bounce_pinka:

Ketana
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Angel wrote: Ketana wrote: now now let's not fight..we've plenty of goodies for all good girls..

 

But I'm NOT a good girl, so what do I get if I'm naughty? :bounce_pinka:

naughty huh?



Angel
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Angel
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>

Ketana
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It's all about who you know!


Angel
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Oh gawd...


Angel
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Angel
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Ketana wrote: It's all about who you know!



OK! OK! I've DEFINITELY been GOOD! I WANT THAT UNDER MY CHRISTMAS TREE THIS YEAR!

Ketana
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Dragonflygurl
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Elfattack.  I only scored over 600

http://www.elfattack.com/

Dragonflygurl
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Angel wrote: Ketana wrote: It's all about who you know!



OK! OK! I've DEFINITELY been GOOD! I WANT THAT UNDER MY CHRISTMAS TREE THIS YEAR!

Forget under the Christmas Tree, I just want him in bed, lol.  I have plenty of room as it's a kingsized bed for kingsized man, if you know what I mean, wink, wink!!

Last edited on Sat Dec 23rd, 2006 08:28 pm by Dragonflygurl

Ketana
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want a lick?


mayaXXX
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mayaXXX
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Ketana
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mayaXXX wrote:
LOL and you know what makes this so bad? It's a non-stop flight! buwahahahahaha!

Angel
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CheshireKat
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Want to track Santa's progress around the world?
http://www.noradsanta.org/index.php

Angel
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Wayward Kitty
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Christmas was a personal wash apart from watching Joe open his gifts and get all excited, but I made this and it took ages so I'm gonna share it. Hope you all had a wonderful day,

luff and huggles,

Kitty

 

Angel
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Merry Christmas to you too, Kitty and to Little Joe, give him a big hug and kiss from me.

Angel

mayaXXX
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MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE !!

:ani-sign:

:MC-4:



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