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Have a Holly Jolly Christmas!
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Ketana
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 Posted: Sat Dec 9th, 2006 06:35 pm

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Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged


Holiday Favorite

Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality Disorder - We Three Kings Disoriented Are

Dementia - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas

Narcissistic - Hark The Herald Angels Sing About Me

Manic - Deck The Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Offices and
towns and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and...

Paranoid - Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me

Borderline Personality - Thoughts Of Roasting On An Open Fire

Personality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

Obsessive Compulsive - Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle, Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells..............


a



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Ketana
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 Posted: Sat Dec 9th, 2006 06:37 pm

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Angel
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 Posted: Sun Dec 10th, 2006 01:15 pm

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The timeless tradition of decorating the Christmas tree, a little history.



Enter any department store from now until New Year’s and aisles packed with plastic ornaments, glistening garland, and blinking lights will greet you at every turn. What was once a simple family tradition has become a multimillion-dollar industry with decorations becoming more elaborate and costly each year. Where did this tradition begin and how did it become such an integral part of the holiday festivities?

Like the majority of practices associated with Christmas, the tradition arose from the intermingling of ancient Roman beliefs and the spreading Christian religion. Early Christians believed certain trees flowered unseasonably on Christmas Eve as homage to Jesus’ birth. This belief combined with the Roman practice of decorating their homes with greenery for the New Year formed the basis of our modern fascination with icicles and fancy angel tree toppers.

The decorating of various structures and trees has been recorded in Europe from the 17th century on, but the first written account of a “Christmas tree” did not appear until 1605. According to John Matthew’s The Winter Solstice, an anonymous German citizen that year recorded trees being decorated with “roses cut out of many colored paper, apples, wafers, gold-foil, [and] sweets”. What about chaser lights and oodles of wrapped gifts? It was more than 100 years later when Professor Karl Gottfried Kissling of the University of Wittenburg wrote of people adding candles for decorations and placing children’s wrapped branches around the bottom of the small indoor trees.

Even though the practice was initially condemned by religious leaders, it spread from Germany to Finland through Norway and Denmark. In 1840, Queen Victoria and Prince Albert of England endorsed the tradition by displaying their own ornately decorated tree at their palace. By the early 1900s, decorating the tree was as much a part of Christmas as Santa Claus and opening presents.

Of course, the early trees were decorated differently than today’s evergreens. Early ornaments were usually hand-crafted or edible. Nuts, candies, fruits, and pieces of colored paper were the most common. The average modern tree is decorated with a combination of store-bought ornaments and family memorabilia with several strings of lights strewn over the branches instead of candles, but no matter how the tree is decorated it still symbolizes a timeless Christmas tradition of families gathered together exchanging presents and love.



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Angel
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 Posted: Sun Dec 10th, 2006 01:27 pm

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Christmas superstitions -

It is said :

- "The child born on Christmas Day will have a special fortune."


- "Snow on Christmas means Easter will be green."


- You will have as many happy months in the coming year, as the number of houses you eat mince pies in during Christmastime.


- In Greece, some people burn their old shoes during the Christmas season to prevent misfortunes in the coming year.


- To have good health throughout the next year, eat an apple on Christmas Eve.


- The gates of Heaven open at midnight on Christmas Eve. Those who die then go straight to Heaven (an Irish beleif).


- Christmas candles should be left burning until Christmas morning and should rest undisturbed from time of lighting until they are snuffed.


- Singing Christmas carols at any time other than during the festive season is unlucky.


- The yule log should be lit by a piece of the log used on the previous Christmas. Once that is done, no evil spirit can then enter into the house. The remains of the Yule log were also considered lucky, and would be a protection against lightning or fire.


 



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Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Sun Dec 10th, 2006 11:13 pm

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Here's one for Angel, as she's told me in the past she drinks rather a lot of this.  Mountain Dew Christmas tree.



And here's the link that that photo comes from and how it was made.  It even lights up.

http://mdewtree.com/

Angel
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 Posted: Sun Dec 10th, 2006 11:17 pm

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Dragonflygurl wrote: Here's one for Angel, as she's told me in the past she drinks rather a lot of this.  Mountain Dew Christmas tree.



And here's the link that that photo comes from and how it was made.  It even lights up.

http://mdewtree.com/

That is so friggin' kewl, DFG!  I love it!  I gave up the dew totally, but have gone back on it on a here and there basis. 



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Ketana
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 Posted: Mon Dec 11th, 2006 12:11 am

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Oh Tannenbaum..oh Tannenbaum, a squirrely squirrel has taken home..



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Angel
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 Posted: Mon Dec 11th, 2006 12:16 pm

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Ketana
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 Posted: Wed Dec 13th, 2006 02:36 pm

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your very own pin-up Santa!




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Angel
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 Posted: Thu Dec 14th, 2006 12:09 pm

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1. Oh, member of the round table with missing areas

2. Boulder of the tinkling metal spheres

3. Vehicular homicide was committed on Dad's mom by a precipitous darling

4. Wanted in December: top forward incisors

5. The apartment of two psychiatrists

6. The lad is a diminutive percussionist

7. Sir Lancelot with laryngitis

8. Decorate the entryways

9. Cup-shaped instruments fashioned of a whitish metallic element

10. Oh small Israel urban center

11. Far off in a haybin

12. We are Kong, Lear, and Nat Cole

13. Duodecimal enumeration of the passage of the yuletide season

14. Leave and broadcast from an elevation

15. Our fervent hope is that you thoroughly enjoy your yuletide season

16. Listen, the winged heavenly messengers are proclaiming tunefully

17. As the guardians of the woolly animals protected their charges in
    the dark hours

18. I beheld a trio of nautical vessels moving in this direction

19. Jubilation to the entire terrestrial globe

20. Do you perceive the same vibrations which stimulate my auditory sense
    organ?

21. A joyful song of reverence relative to hollow metallic vessels which
    vibrate and bring forth a ringing sound when struck

22. Parent was observed osculating a red-coated unshaven teamster

23. May the Deity bestow an absence of fatigue to mild male humans

24. Rose-colored uncouth dolf is aware of the nature of precipitation,
    darling Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!

Answers to Christmas Songs
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  v

1. Oh, member of the round table with missing areas = Oh Holy Night

2. Boulder of the tinkling metal spheres = Jingle Bell Rock

3. Vehicular homicide was committed on Dad's mom by a precipitous darling =
   Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer

4. Wanted in December: top forward incisors = All I Want For Christmas Is My
   Two Front Teeth

5. The apartment of two psychiatrists = The Nutcracker Suite

6. The lad is a diminutive percussionist = Little Drummer Boy

7. Sir Lancelot with laryngitis = Silent Night

8. Decorate the entryways = Deck the Halls

9. Cup-shaped instruments fashioned of a whitish metallic element = Silver
   Bells

10. Oh small Israel urban center = Oh Little Town of Bethlehem

11. Far off in a haybin = Away in a Manger

12. We are Kong, Lear, and Nat Cole = We Three Kings

13. Duodecimal enumeration of the passage of the yuletide season = The Twelve
    Days of Christmas

14. Leave and broadcast from an elevation = Go Tell It on the Mountain

15. Our fervent hope is that you thoroughly enjoy your yuletide season =
    We Wish You a Merry Christmas

16. Listen, the winged heavenly messengers are proclaiming tunefully = Hark
    the Herald Angels Sing

17. As the guardians of the woolly animals protected their charges in the
    dark hours = Shepherds Watched Their Flocks By Night

18. I beheld a trio of nautical vessels moving in this direction = I Saw
    Three Ships

19. Jubilation to the entire terrestrial globe = Joy to the World

20. Do you perceive the same vibrations which stimulate my auditory sense
    organ? = Do You Hear What I Hear?

21. A joyful song of reverence relative to hollow metallic vessels which
    vibrate and bring forth a ringing sound when struck = Carol of the Bells

22. Parent was observed osculating a red-coated unshaven teamster = I Saw
    Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

23. May the Deity bestow an absence of fatigue to mild male humans = God Rest
    Ye Merry Gentlemen

24. Rose-colored uncouth dolf is aware of the nature of precipitation, darling =
    Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer




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Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Thu Dec 14th, 2006 09:40 pm

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Ketana wrote: Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged



Holiday Favorite



Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality Disorder - We Three Kings Disoriented Are

Dementia - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas

Narcissistic - Hark The Herald Angels Sing About Me

Manic - Deck The Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Offices and
towns and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and...

Paranoid - Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me

Borderline Personality - Thoughts Of Roasting On An Open Fire

Personality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

Obsessive Compulsive - Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle, Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells..............






a


Well let me see my sister quite often tells me I'm Paranoid, I could do with a man in my life, so it's ok that Santa is coming to get me, lol.

Last edited on Thu Dec 14th, 2006 09:41 pm by Dragonflygurl

Angel
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 Posted: Fri Dec 15th, 2006 12:05 pm

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Holiday Trivia


The average American takes six months to pay off holiday credit-card bills.

Pogonophobia: the fear of beards.

There are currently 78 people named S. Claus living in the U.S. -- and one
Kriss Kringle.

December is the most popular month for nose jobs.

Weight of Santa's sleigh loaded with one Beanie Baby for every kid on
earth: 333,333 tons.

Number of reindeer required to pull a 333,333-ton sleigh: 214,206 --
plus Rudolph.

Average wage of a mall Santa: $11 an hour. With real beard: $20.

To deliver his gifts in one night, Santa would have to make 822.6 visits
per second, sleighing at 3,000 times the speed of sound.  At that speed,
Santa and his reindeer would burst into flame instantaneously.



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XS4Xevr
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 Posted: Sat Dec 16th, 2006 05:02 am

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Christmas Angel wrote:


To deliver his gifts in one night, Santa would have to make 822.6 visits
per second, sleighing at 3,000 times the speed of sound.  At that speed,
Santa and his reindeer would burst into flame instantaneously
.




Santa would have to be an utter idiot and outright stupid to even attempt that, in me humbled... (and them reindeer would have gone on strike making Santa go on a diet a long time ago!)


All Santa ever really needs to do is TO STOP TIME, and in that twinking of an eye to the rest of us, have his many legions of elves do all the delivering all over the Earth while time is stopped, while Santa himself never leaves the North Pole, sitting back in his easy chair sipping nog while Mrs. Kringle cooks up a hearty meal. (and who says he hasn't really been doing just that all along!)  :icon_wink: 


Angel
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 Posted: Sat Dec 16th, 2006 03:14 pm

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XS4Xevr wrote:
Christmas Angel wrote:



To deliver his gifts in one night, Santa would have to make 822.6 visits
per second, sleighing at 3,000 times the speed of sound.  At that speed,
Santa and his reindeer would burst into flame instantaneously
.






Santa would have to be an utter idiot and outright stupid to even attempt that, in me humbled... (and them reindeer would have gone on strike making Santa go on a diet a long time ago!)



All Santa ever really needs to do is TO STOP TIME, and in that twinking of an eye to the rest of us, have his many legions of elves do all the delivering all over the Earth while time is stopped, while Santa himself never leaves the North Pole, sitting back in his easy chair sipping nog while Mrs. Kringle cooks up a hearty meal. (and who says he hasn't really been doing just that all along!)  :icon_wink: 



Hrmm...you're theory has much more merit and would make more sense.  But if Santa is lazing in the easy chair while Mrs. Kringle is cooking all the meals, wouldn't that make him kind of a lazy bastard? :xmas22: 



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Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Sat Dec 16th, 2006 11:45 pm

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LOL

Attachment: santaelvis.jpg (Downloaded 5 times)


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