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Angel
Divine Executioner
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Posted: Sat Nov 29th, 2014 12:34 am |
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POST ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING CHRISTMAS!
Minions singing Christmas carols...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAZe-scjjyU
____________________
The dead do not squeeze and please....
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Dragonflygurl
Heretic
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Posted: Sat Nov 29th, 2014 07:38 am |
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| http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2009/344/7/2/animated_christmas_tree_by_Sparky650.gif
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Dragonflygurl
Heretic
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Posted: Sat Nov 29th, 2014 07:40 am |
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| http://amolife.com/image/images/stories/Miscellaneous/Holidays/christmas_animations%20%283%29.gif
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Angel
Divine Executioner
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Posted: Sun Nov 30th, 2014 03:38 am |
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Dogs decorating the Christmas Tree!
http://theilovedogssite.com/as-soon-as-their-owners-leave-the-house-something-magical-is-going-to-happen/?utm_content=Magical&utm_medium=Facebook&utm_source=ild&utm_campaign=Video
____________________
The dead do not squeeze and please....
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Angel
Divine Executioner
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Posted: Mon Dec 1st, 2014 11:07 am |
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A parent's night before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse.
Instructions were studied and we were inspired,
In hopes we could manage "Some Assembly Required."
The children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds,
While Dad and I faced the evening with dread:
A kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's town house to boot!
And, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!
Christmas Santa
We opened the boxes, my heart skipped a beat....
Let no parts be missing or parts incomplete!
Too late for last-minute returns or replacement;
If we can't get it right, it goes in the basement!
When what to my worrying eyes should appear,
But 50 sheets of directions, concise, but not clear,
With each part numbered and every slot named,
So if we failed, only we could be blamed.
More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out,
All over the carpet they were scattered about.
"Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there!
Slide on the seats, and staple the stair!
Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand."
"Honey," said hubby, "you just glued my hand."
And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact
That all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact
To keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night
With "assembly required" till morning's first light.
We spoke not a word, but kept bent at our work,
Till our eyes, they went bleary; our fingers all hurt.
The coffee went cold and the night, it wore thin
Before we attached the last rod and last pin.
Then laying the tools away in the chest,
We fell into bed for a well-deserved rest.
But I said to my husband just before I passed out,
"This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt.
Tomorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring,
And not have to run to the store for a thing!
We did it! We did it! The toys are all set
For the perfect, most perfect, Christmas, I bet!"
Then off to dreamland and sweet repose I gratefully went,
Though I suppose there's something to say for those self-deluded...
I'd forgotten that batteries are never included!
____________________
The dead do not squeeze and please....
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Angel
Divine Executioner
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Posted: Mon Dec 1st, 2014 11:22 am |
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A Charlie Brown Christmas - Skating...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQPWDjfe4MI
____________________
The dead do not squeeze and please....
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Angel
Divine Executioner
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Posted: Tue Dec 2nd, 2014 12:55 am |
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25 Life's lessons we've learned from National Lampoons Christmas Vacation...
http://www.people.com/article/christmas-vacation-anniversary-lessons?xid=socialflow_facebook_peoplemag
____________________
The dead do not squeeze and please....
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Angel
Divine Executioner
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Posted: Wed Dec 3rd, 2014 12:30 am |
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Poopouri for Santa....
http://subfeed.net/learns-happens-santa-poop-hilarious.html
____________________
The dead do not squeeze and please....
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Angel
Divine Executioner
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Posted: Thu Dec 4th, 2014 11:42 am |
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Twenty ways to confuse Santa Claus
Christmas Santa
1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.
3. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
4. While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.
5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."
7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.
8. Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.
9. While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.
10. Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy.  " Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa.  "
11. Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."
12. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.
13. While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.
14. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.
15. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
16. Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, but from a distance, he looked like a bear.
17. Leave out a Santa suit, with an attached dry-cleaning bill.
18. Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue for personal injury.
19. Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.
20. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us.
____________________
The dead do not squeeze and please....
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Angel
Divine Executioner
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Posted: Sun Dec 7th, 2014 01:46 pm |
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Holly Jolly Christmas...
http://xmasfun.com/Lyrics.aspx?ID=29
____________________
The dead do not squeeze and please....
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Angel
Divine Executioner
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Posted: Mon Dec 8th, 2014 11:00 am |
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Department Store Santa Peeves
Christmas Santa
8. Kids who refuse to believe that it's fruitcake on your breath and not gin.
7. When the last guy to use the beard leaves bits of his lunch in it.
6. Even with the costume, people recognizing you from "Crime Watch"
5. Parents who get all uptight when you offer their kids a swig from your hip flask
4. Enduring the taunts of your old buddies from Drama School
3. Those dorks in the Power Rangers costumes get all the babes
2. Kids who don't understand that Santa's been a little jittery since he got back from 'Nam
1. Two words: lap rash
____________________
The dead do not squeeze and please....
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Angel
Divine Executioner
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Posted: Tue Dec 9th, 2014 11:31 am |
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A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain, he said." Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them. "Let's not fight about it," the man said, "let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."
As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course," he answered and walked on. But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!" To which the man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
____________________
The dead do not squeeze and please....
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Dragonflygurl
Heretic
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Posted: Tue Dec 9th, 2014 10:16 pm |
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Angel wrote: Poopouri for Santa....
http://subfeed.net/learns-happens-santa-poop-hilarious.html OMG that is so funny.
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Dragonflygurl
Heretic
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Posted: Tue Dec 9th, 2014 10:23 pm |
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| This is cool. https://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_621412&feature=iv&src_vid=SXh7JR9oKVE&v=4AnMlQNw1M8
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Angel
Divine Executioner
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Posted: Wed Dec 10th, 2014 12:55 am |
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Dragonflygurl wrote:
This is cool. https://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_621412&feature=iv&src_vid=SXh7JR9oKVE&v=4AnMlQNw1M8
I liked that, it was great how they made ordinary sounds into a Christmas carol.
____________________
The dead do not squeeze and please....
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The Fractal Core > HAVE A HOLLY JOLLY CHRISTMAS 2014!
