You have arrived in the LEXXVERSE where the spirit of Lexx lives on. Home


Have a Holly Jolly Christmas 2008!
 Moderated by: Ketana, CheshireKat, aeonflux  

New Topic

Reply

Print
AuthorPost
Dragonflygurl
Heretic


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: I'm Everywhere And No Where
Posts: 7297
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
 Posted: Thu Dec 4th, 2008 10:50 pm

Quote

Reply
Naked Santa flash game.

Aim of the game is to hit as many naked santa's a possible with your snowballs.
http://www.owensworld.com/flashgames/play-395.htm

Dragonflygurl
Heretic


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: I'm Everywhere And No Where
Posts: 7297
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
 Posted: Thu Dec 4th, 2008 11:34 pm

Quote

Reply
For all you ladies out here Sexy Santa jigsaw to put together at this link:http://two.flash-gear.com/npuz/puz.php?c=v&id=2410003&k=13786293

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11437
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
 Posted: Sat Dec 6th, 2008 11:15 am

Quote

Reply
You Should Have a Pink Christmas Tree

For you, the holidays represent a time of friendship and sharing.
You're happy as long as you're spending time with the people you care about.

You are passionate about the holidays, and that start of the holiday season makes you very excited.
You sometimes go a bit overboard in your celebrations. You just can't help it!

Passionate, easily excited, sweet, giving, love, friendship, sensitive, caring

Your pink tree would look great with: More pink!

You should spend Christmas Eve watching: The Muppet Christmas Carol

What you should bake for Santa: Rice krispie treats with red and green food coloring

http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorchristmastreeshouldyouhavequiz/



____________________
The dead do not squeeze and please....
Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
 Posted: Sun Dec 7th, 2008 11:35 am

Quote

Reply

You Should  Have a White Christmas Tree



For you, the holidays represent joy and spirituality.
The true meaning of Christmas is important to you - even if you're not religious.

The holidays are a time of reflection for you.
You like to spend time thinking about what's important in life.

Your white tree would look great with: Bright, bold ornaments

You should spend Christmas Eve watching: The Nativity Story

What you should bake for Santa: Sugar cookies - served up with a tall glass of milk

What Color Christmas Tree Should You Have?



____________________

Don't sprinkle sugar on your bullshit and then tell me it's candy!
Dragonflygurl
Heretic


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: I'm Everywhere And No Where
Posts: 7297
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
 Posted: Sun Dec 7th, 2008 05:58 pm

Quote

Reply


You Should Have a Blue Christmas Tree




For you, the holidays represent a time of calm, understanding, and peace.
You avoid family fights, and you don't get too stressed out - even when things are crazy!

You like to make Christmas about making everyone's life a little bit better.
You don't get caught up in greed or commercialism. You're too sincere for that.

Your blue tree would look great with: Lots of silver tinsel

You should spend Christmas Eve watching: It's a Wonderful Life

What you should bake for Santa: Chocolate chip cookies

What Color Christmas Tree Should You Have?

Last edited on Sun Dec 7th, 2008 06:00 pm by Dragonflygurl

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11437
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
 Posted: Mon Dec 8th, 2008 10:37 am

Quote

Reply
Santa Is A Woman


I think Santa Claus is a woman....

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she.
Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing
social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull
it all off!

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting
gifts until Christmas Eve. It's as if they are all frozen in some kind
of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they - with
amazing calm - call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping
spree.

Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco
products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. (You
might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my
husband tells me it's an enormous relief because it lessens the 11th
hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa
is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would
wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the
tree, still in the bag.

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all,
there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and
strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate
claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already
be on the way to the taxidermist.

Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation
problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and
clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Add to this the
fact that there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the
Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the
flue. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas
fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to
straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:
- Men can't pack a bag.
- Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
- Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen
with all those elves.
- Men don't answer their mail.
- Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest
as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."
- Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
- Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability
to pick up women.
- Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men.........
- Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous.
Definite guy.
- Cupid flies around carrying weapons.
- Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers.

Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test.
But not St. Nick. Not a chance. As long as we have each other, good
will, peace on earth, faith and Nat King Cole's version of "The Christmas
Song," it probably makes little difference what gender Santa is.

I just wish she'd quit dressing like a guy!!!



____________________
The dead do not squeeze and please....
mayaXXX
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Dark Zone, Naturally
Posts: 2465
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
 Posted: Tue Dec 9th, 2008 04:27 pm

Quote

Reply



____________________
"Blah blah blah, Vampire Emergency, Blah..."
IT'S OFFICIAL
Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
 Posted: Tue Dec 9th, 2008 04:44 pm

Quote

Reply
yummy..notice how gingerly Ianto is sitting on Jack's lap? Maybe he's looking to get speared by Santa Jack's candy cane? BUAWHAHAHAAAAAAA..



____________________

Don't sprinkle sugar on your bullshit and then tell me it's candy!
mayaXXX
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Dark Zone, Naturally
Posts: 2465
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
 Posted: Tue Dec 9th, 2008 09:08 pm

Quote

Reply
OK WARNING, WARNING, THIS IS A VERY RUDE CHRISTMAS POEM... Don't say I didn't warn ya...

*

*

*

*


Night Before Christmas: Rude Version

Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat
The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.

Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude
Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube
When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.

Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
Tore back the shade while she played with herself.
The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built,
Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.
With a fat little driver, half out of his sled,
A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.

Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite.
And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.
Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,
Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.

Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree,
Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.
They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub,
Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.

And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,
As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.
I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,
When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.

His suit was all smelly with perfume galore,
He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.
"That was some brothel," he said with a smile,
"The reindeer are pooped, and I'll just stay here awhile.

He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink,
Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.
I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,
The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.

Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack,
But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.

The first thing he found was a pair of false tits,
The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.

A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find,
And a six pair of panties, the edible kind.
A bra without nipples, a penis extension,
And several other things that I shouldn't even mention.

A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil,
A dildo so long, it lay in a coil.
"This stuff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit,
So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split."

He filled every stocking and then took his leave,
With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.
He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,
Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.

In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch,
Saying, "Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch!"
The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout,
"The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!"

:S1-5:

 

:ani-sign:



____________________
"Blah blah blah, Vampire Emergency, Blah..."
IT'S OFFICIAL
Dragonflygurl
Heretic


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: I'm Everywhere And No Where
Posts: 7297
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
 Posted: Tue Dec 9th, 2008 11:55 pm

Quote

Reply
Twas the night before Christmas,
When all through the house,

Everybody felt shitty even the mouse.
With Mom at the whore house,

And dad smoking grass,
I'd just settled down for a nice piece of ass!

When out on the lawn I hear such a clatter,
I sprung from my piece to see what was the matter!

When out on the lawn I saw a big dick,
I knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick.

He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell,
I knew in a moment the fucker had fell!

He filled all our stockings with pretzels and beer,
And a big rubber dick for my brother, the queer.

He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart,
The son of a bitch blew the chimney apart!

He swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight,
Piss on you all and have a Hell of a night!


:xmassleigh:

Last edited on Tue Dec 9th, 2008 11:56 pm by Dragonflygurl

mayaXXX
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Dark Zone, Naturally
Posts: 2465
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
 Posted: Wed Dec 10th, 2008 01:54 am

Quote

Reply
I swear, we're all going to Hell....

:MC3:



____________________
"Blah blah blah, Vampire Emergency, Blah..."
IT'S OFFICIAL
Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11437
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
 Posted: Wed Dec 10th, 2008 02:50 am

Quote

Reply
mayaXXX wrote: I swear, we're all going to Hell....

:MC3:


Ya know Maya, I almost posted the same one you did, but thought.....maybe a little too nasty for Christmas.  And I now I realize we think too much alike, hehehehe..

John looks like he's having WAY too much fun as Santa. Hehehehe..

 



____________________
The dead do not squeeze and please....
Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11437
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
 Posted: Wed Dec 10th, 2008 10:36 am

Quote

Reply
The Top 15 *Other* Signs Santa Claus is Actually a Woman


15. Santa *remembers* it's Christmas. 'Nuf said.

14. Reads children's letters in office instead of in bathroom.

13. Never explains what exactly you did to deserve that coal in
your stocking; if you have to ask, maybe that's the
problem!

12. Employs little people in a sweatshop and co-hosts TV talk
show, "Regis and Santa Lee."

11. Despite the closet full of red coats with big black belts,
*still* insists she has nothing to wear on Christmas Eve.

10. "Mrs. Claus" wears work boots, has a crew cut, and drives
a '68 El Camino.

9. A man simply would not care if you were naughty or nice.

8. Actually seems to shake like TWO bowls full of jelly.

7. Bowl full of jelly, my ass. It's water retention.

6. Constantly whining about equality until it's time to
clean out the reindeer stalls.

5. Matching shoes and belt? Only a woman would accessorize a
pantsuit like that!

4. No guy would ever name his animals Dancer and Prancer.

3. Santa never, ever observed peeing off of rooftops.

2. The North Pole Blockbuster's been out of "The Horse
Whisperer" for weeks.

and Top5's Number 1 *Other* Sign Santa Claus is Actually a Woman...

1. With the way they build chimneys these days you'd *have*
to be Calista friggin' Flockhart just to get in!



____________________
The dead do not squeeze and please....
Dragonflygurl
Heretic


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: I'm Everywhere And No Where
Posts: 7297
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
 Posted: Wed Dec 10th, 2008 12:26 pm

Quote

Reply
mayaXXX wrote: I swear, we're all going to Hell....

:MC3:

Well at least we'll all be warm in hell, as my mum used to say.

Dragonflygurl
Heretic


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: I'm Everywhere And No Where
Posts: 7297
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
 Posted: Wed Dec 10th, 2008 12:47 pm

Quote

Reply
This video is funny as hell. Gifts you can give. It's a bit insane and not suitable for children.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-Po2gp50Ts


 Current time is 07:29 am
Page:  First Page Previous Page  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  Next Page Last Page  


Quick Reply
Enter your quick reply:



Black_metal theme exclusively by: WowBB Theme Mall
Powered by WowBB 1.7 - Copyright © 2003-2006 Aycan Gulez
SciFi Updates