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Have a Holly Jolly Christmas 2008!
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Angel
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 Posted: Sun Nov 30th, 2008 12:51 pm

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Your Elf Name Is...



Trixie Mc Mini

What's Your Elf Name?



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Angel
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 Posted: Sun Nov 30th, 2008 12:54 pm

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You Are a Tree



You love every part of the holidays, down to the candy canes and stockings. And you're goofy enough to put a Christmas tree ornament on your tree!

What Christmas Ornament Are You?



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Angel
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 Posted: Sun Nov 30th, 2008 12:54 pm

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Your Christmas Sprit Level: 80%



Your Christmas spirit is almost as big as Christmas itself. Christmas is definitely your thing.
You celebrate Christmas with enthusiasm. You love every minute of the holidays.

Your Christmas spirit is inspiring to everyone who runs into you during the holidays.
You make everyone's day just a little bit brighter. And that's what the holidays are all about!

Do You Have the Christmas Spirit?



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Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Sun Nov 30th, 2008 05:50 pm

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You Are Eggnog



Rich, sweet, and probably a little drunk. Everyone who knows you tends to get a little fatter.

What Holiday Food Are You?

Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Sun Nov 30th, 2008 05:53 pm

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Your Elf Name Is...



Stubby Sugar Butt

What's Your Elf Name?

Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Sun Nov 30th, 2008 05:56 pm

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You Are a Tree



You love every part of the holidays, down to the candy canes and stockings. And you're goofy enough to put a Christmas tree ornament on your tree!

What Christmas Ornament Are You?

Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Sun Nov 30th, 2008 06:00 pm

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Christmas is no fun since my mum died.
Your Christmas Sprit Level: 40%



You definitely have some Christmas spirit, and you enjoy the holidays as much as the average person.
You don't go over the top celebrating, and by December 26th, you're ready to pack away your decorations.

You have your own special Christmas traditions, and you tend to pick and choose what you like about Christmas.
The holidays are important to you, but you don't let them take over your life.

Do You Have the Christmas Spirit?

Angel
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 Posted: Mon Dec 1st, 2008 10:57 am

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12 Redneck Days of Christmas

12 pack of Bud

11 wrestling tickets
10 cans of Copenhagen
9 years probation
8 table dancers
7 packs of Redman
6 cans of Spam
5 Flanell Shirts
4 mud tires
3 shotgun shells
2 hunting dogs
and a part to a Mustang GT



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Angel
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 Posted: Mon Dec 1st, 2008 10:58 am

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Q. What did Santa say to the three blondes?
A. Ho! Ho! Ho!

Q. Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
A. He sold his soul to Santa.

Q. Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time ?
A. Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.

Q. What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve?
A. They go into to town and blow a few bucks.

Q. Why doesn't Santa have any children ?
A. Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.

Q. What's the difference between snow men and snow women?
A. Snowballs.

Q. Why do people make snow men instead of snow women?
A. Because it takes too long to hollow out the head!

Q. Why did the snowman have a smile on his face ?
A. Because the snowblower was coming down the block.

 



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Angel
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 Posted: Tue Dec 2nd, 2008 10:52 am

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A few days before Christmas, a man enters a pet store looking for a unique gift for his wife. The store manager tells him he has just what he's looking for! A beautiful parrot named Chet that sings Christmas carols.
He brings the husband over to a colorful but quiet bird. The man agrees that Chet certainly is pretty, but he doesn't seem to be much for singing. The manager tells him to watch as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lighter. The manager then clicks the lighter and holds it under Chet's left foot. Immediately Chet starts singing; "Silent Night, Holy Night."

The husband is very impressed with Chet's singing abilities and watches as the manager moves the lighter underneath Chet's right foot. Chet now starts to sing "Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way." The husband says Chet is perfect and that he'll take him.

The husband rushes home to his wife and insists upon giving her this wonderful gift immediately. He presents Chet and starts to explain the parrot's special talent.


Demonstrating, he holds a lighter under Chet's left foot and the bird sings "Silent Night." He then moves the lighter under the right foot and Chet lets loose a round of "Jingle Bells." The wife is absolutely impressed, and with a mischievous grin asks her husband what happens if he holds the lighter between Chet's legs instead. Curious the husband moves the lighter between the bird's legs, and the bird begins to sing - Chet's nuts Roasting on an Open Fire!



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Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Tue Dec 2nd, 2008 02:23 pm

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This recipe for a non-alcoholic drink. It is for all those of you that have to drive in over the festive season or who can't have any alcohol.

Tutti Fruitti

Ingredients
Fresh Orange Juice
Cranberry Juice
1 Clementine
Bottle or can of Ginger Beer
Ice cubes

Optional a Straw and cocktail stirrer.

Method for 1 drink

Take a high ball glass and fill with ice cubes and sliced clementines.

Quarter fill glass with Fresh Orange Juice and top up with Cranberry Juice.

Fill to the top of the glass with ginger beer.

Then serve with a straw and cocktail stirrer.

And enjoy:)

Ketana
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 Posted: Tue Dec 2nd, 2008 03:36 pm

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Your Elf Name Is...



Happy Fruit Cake

What's Your Elf Name?



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Angel
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 Posted: Wed Dec 3rd, 2008 10:25 am

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BUSH LEGAL TEAM SUES SANTA CLAUS

AUSTIN, TX (Dec. 4) - Attorneys for Texas Governor George W. Bush
filed suit in federal court today, seeking to prevent Santa Claus
from making his list and then checking it twice. The complaint
seeks an immediate injunction against the beloved Christmas icon,
asking the court to effectively ban his traditional practice of
checking the list of good boys and girls one additional time
before packing his sleigh.

The suit, filed in the Federal District Court of Austin, Texas,
asks a federal judge to "hereby order Mr. Claus to cease and
desist all repetitive and duplicative list-checking activity, and
certify the original list as submitted, without amendment,
alteration, deletion, or other unnecessary modification."

"There are no standards for deciding who is naughty, and who is
nice. It's totally arbitrary and capricious. How many more times
does he need to check? This checking, checking, and re-checking
over and over again must stop now," said former Secretary James
Baker.

Baker further claimed that unnamed GOP observers witnessed an elf
removing all boys named Justin from the 'nice' list, filing them
under 'naughty' instead because "everyone knows all boys named
Justin are brats."

Gov. Bush cited the potential for unauthorized list tampering, and
blasted what he called the "crazy, crazy mess up there at the
North Pole."

"Their security is really awful, really bad," said Bush. "My
mother just walked right in, told 'em she was Mrs. Claus. They
didn't check her ID or nothing."

Meanwhile, Dick Cheney, Gov. Bush's running mate, issued a direct
plea to St. Nick himself. "Mr. Claus, I call on you to do the
honorable thing, and quit checking your list. The children of the
world have had enough. They demand closure now," Cheney said,
adding that his granddaughter has already selected a name for the
pony she's asked for.

The Rev. Jesse Jackson was quick to respond to this latest
development with plans to lead his protesters from Florida to the
North Pole via dogsled. The "Million Man Mush" is scheduled to
leave Friday. "We need red suits and sleighs, not law suits and
delays," Jackson said.

Santa Claus could not be reached for comment, but an spokeself
said he was "deeply distressed" by news of the pending legal
action against him.

"He's losing weight, and he hasn't said 'Ho Ho' for days," said
the spokeself. "He's just not feeling jolly."

A weary nation can relate.




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Angel
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Mana: 
 Posted: Wed Dec 3rd, 2008 10:55 am

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Ketana wrote: Your Elf Name Is...



Happy Fruit Cake

What's Your Elf Name?


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

 



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Angel
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 Posted: Thu Dec 4th, 2008 10:48 am

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Disco Dancing Santa

http://www.northpole.com/Clubhouse/DancingSanta/

:xmastree5:



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