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Have a Holly Jolly Christmas 2008!
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Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Mon Nov 24th, 2008 01:20 am

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Christmas downsizing
Today's global challenges require the North Pole to continue to look for better, more competitive steps. Effective immediately, the following economy measures are to take place in the "Twelve Days of Christmas" subsidiary:

Snowman The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree never turned out to be the cash crop forecasted. It will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance.

The two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost effective. In addition, their romance during working hours could not be condoned. The positions are therefore eliminated.

The three French hens will remain intact. After all, everyone loves the French.

The four calling birds were replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option. An analysis is underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how long they talked.

The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative implications for institutional investors. Diversification into other precious metals as well as a mix of T-Bills and high technology stocks appear to be in order.

The six geese-a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be afforded. It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per day is an example of the decline in productivity. Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the selection procedure by personnel will assure management that from now on every goose it gets will be a good one.

The seven swans-a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times. Their function is primarily decorative. Mechanical swans are on order. The current swans will be retrained to learn some new strokes and therefore enhance their outplacement.

As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy scrutiny by the EEOC. A male/female balance in the workforce is being sought. The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward mobility. Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending, a-mentoring or a-mulching.

Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps.

Ten Lords-a-leaping is overkill. The high cost of Lords plus the expense of international air travel prompted the Compensation Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work congressmen. While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings are significant because we expect an oversupply of unemployed congressmen this year.

Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of the band getting too big. A substitution with a string quartet, a cut back on new music and no uniforms will produce savings which will drop right down to the bottom line.

We can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl, animals and other expenses. Though incomplete, studies indicate that stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient. If we can drop ship in one day, service levels will be improved.

Regarding the lawsuit filed by the attorney's association seeking expansion to include the legal profession ("thirteen lawyers-a-suing"), action is pending.

Lastly, it is not beyond consideration that deeper cuts may be necessary in the future to stay competitive. Should that happen, the Board will request management to scrutinize the Snow White Division to see if seven dwarfs is the right number.

Angel
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Mana: 
 Posted: Mon Nov 24th, 2008 01:21 am

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Your Christmas Stocking Will Be Filled With Little Wrapped Presents



You've made Santa a very happy fellow this year.
Don't worry - what happens at the North Pole stays at the North Pole!

What Will Be In Your Christmas Stocking?



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Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Mon Nov 24th, 2008 01:22 am

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You Are the Furthest Thing From A Grinch



You love and live for the holidays. You even love the Grinch!
You're in the holiday spirit year round... because you're all about celebrating and giving.

Are You a Grinch?

Dragonflygurl
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 Posted: Mon Nov 24th, 2008 01:37 am

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Q: What's the most popular wine at Christmas?
A: "I don't like sprouts" !

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.


Q: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.


Q: What's a good holiday tip?
A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Angel
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 Posted: Mon Nov 24th, 2008 10:44 am

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Conan O'Brian's Christmas Cards -

http://www.rickysplace.com/videos/1124-5.html



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Dragonflygurl
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Mana: 
 Posted: Mon Nov 24th, 2008 06:04 pm

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Your Christmas Stocking Will Be Filled With Little Wrapped Presents



You've made Santa a very happy fellow this year.
Don't worry - what happens at the North Pole stays at the North Pole!

What Will Be In Your Christmas Stocking?

Dragonflygurl
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Mana: 
 Posted: Mon Nov 24th, 2008 06:12 pm

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Angel wrote: Conan O'Brian's Christmas Cards -

http://www.rickysplace.com/videos/1124-5.html


OMG that is so funny.  I really like the card about the Partridge in a pear and they were yummy.

Angel
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Mana: 
 Posted: Wed Nov 26th, 2008 01:07 pm

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If you go to the following website, you can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it.

The card will be sent to a soldier currently serving in Iraq.



http://www.letssaythanks.com/Home1024.html



It would be AMAZING if we could get everyone we know to send a card to soldiers serving in our military. It is FREE and it only takes a second. It would be WONDERFUL if the soldiers received a bunch of the cards from all of us!!



This takes only 10 seconds and it's a wonderful way to say thank you and Merry Christmas from hom e.



Also, please take the time to pass this on to others. I just did mine and it's VERY easy!!!



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Angel
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Mana: 
 Posted: Thu Nov 27th, 2008 11:34 pm

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Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends.


Okay,
here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be a SCROOGE!!! Just
copy (not forward) this entire email and paste into a new e-mail that you can
send. Change all the answers so that they apply to you.


Then send this to a
whole bunch of people you know, INCLUDING the person that sent it to
you......Tis the Season to be NICE!


1.
Wrapping paper or gift bags? gift bags... wrapping paper


2.Real tree or Artificial? real tree!  I always grew up with one, but now I use an artificial one


3.
When do you put up the tree? Just before Thanksgiving

4.
When do you take the tree down? Around the 10th of January

5. Do you like eggnog?  YUK

6.Favorite gift received as a child? A doll that had red hair like me.


7.
Hardest person to buy for? Everybody

8.
Easiest person to buy for? Myself

9.Do you have a nativity scene? Yes

10.
Mail or email Christmas cards? I mail them to my family and friends and will email some to online acquaintances

11.
Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Some kind of purple kiwi shower gel, yuk, it smelled really bad

12.
Favorite Christmas Movie? National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and Ernest Saves Christmas! Two classics!

13.When do you start shopping for Christmas? Late November, and early december.


14.
Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Once or twice..

15.
Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? My home-made russian tea cakes, scrumptious!

16.
Lights on the tree? Of course!  It wouldn't be a tree without lights!

17.
Favorite Christmas song?  Silent Night

18.Travel at Christmas or stay home? stay home

19.
Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? I sure can.

20.
Angel on the tree top or a star? I'll do both.

21.
Open the presents Christmas Eve or day? Christmas Eve

22.Most annoying thing about this time of the year? The crowded stores.

23.
Favorite ornament theme or color? red and gold

24.
Favorite for Christmas dinner? Ham

25.
What do you want for Christmas this year? What don't I want?  EVERYTHING!

26.
Who is most likely to respond to this? DFG

27.
Who is least likely to respond to this? Maya



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Dragonflygurl
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Mana: 
 Posted: Fri Nov 28th, 2008 08:03 pm

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1.
Wrapping paper or gift bags?  Both


2.Real tree or Artificial?  Fiber Optic, does that answer your question.

3.
When do you put up the tree? I used to put it up second week in December.

4.
When do you take the tree down? I used to take it down on January 6th.

5. Do you like eggnog?  Yes

6.Favorite gift received as a child? Can't remember.


7.
Hardest person to buy for? My brother in law and one of my sisters.

8.
Easiest person to buy for? One of my sisters and friends.

9.Do you have a nativity scene? No

10.
Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail and some get both.

11.
Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Bath products I can't use, as I can't use soap etc on skin.

12.
Favorite Christmas Movie? Can't think of one right now.

13.When do you start shopping for Christmas? I have lots to buy for so I used to start in August but this year I started late October.

14.
Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yes.

15.
Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Roast dinner without the meat.

16.
Lights on the tree? Who needs lights when you've got a fiber optic tree.

17.
Favorite Christmas song?  Don't have one.

18.Travel at Christmas or stay home? stay home

19.
Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? Not sure.

20.
Angel on the tree top or a star?My tree has a star on the on the top, so my angel sits on the star.  No wonder she has a smile on her face.

21.
Open the presents Christmas Eve or day? All depends on how I'm feeling but I usually wait to Christmas day.

22.Most annoying thing about this time of the year? The crowded stores.

23.
Favorite ornament theme or color? Red and Green, Silver.

24.
Favorite for Christmas dinner? Roasted Sweet Potatoes

25.
What do you want for Christmas this year? A good seeing too, yes I'm bad.
26.
Who is most likely to respond to this? Me

27.
Who is least likely to respond to this? Don't know


Last edited on Fri Nov 28th, 2008 08:06 pm by Dragonflygurl

Dragonflygurl
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Mana: 
 Posted: Fri Nov 28th, 2008 08:27 pm

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You Know a Lot About Christmas



You got 6/10 correct

You know tons about the history and traditions surrounding Christmas.
When you celebrate the holidays, you never forget their true meaning - or all the little fun details.

Random Christmas fact: Theodore Roosevelt banned Christmas trees in the White House.

How Much Do You Know About Christmas?

For the twelve days of Christmas, your true love will send you:



Twelve punk rockers drumming
Eleven carolers a-caroling
Ten ice skaters a-leaping
Nine ladies waltzing
Eight cows a-milking
Seven hot chocolates a-steaming
Six puppies a-barking
Five golden necklaces
Four calling bill collectors
Three French berets
Two starving Olsen twins
And a owl in a pine tree

What Will You Get for the 12 Days of Christmas?

You Are Cranberry Soda



Pucker up!

What Jones Holiday Soda Are You?

You Were An Angel This Year



You Were 20% Naughty, 80% Nice

You know you've been a super good girl this year
So good, that you may have missed out a little...
Don't worry, Santa will make it up to you!

Were You a Naughty Girl or Nice Girl this Year?

Last edited on Fri Nov 28th, 2008 08:39 pm by Dragonflygurl

Angel
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Mana: 
 Posted: Fri Nov 28th, 2008 10:27 pm

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You Know a Lot About Christmas



You got 5/10 correct

You know tons about the history and traditions surrounding Christmas.
When you celebrate the holidays, you never forget their true meaning - or all the little fun details.

Random Christmas fact: 7% of mall Santas were found to have a criminal background.

How Much Do You Know About Christmas?



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The dead do not squeeze and please....
Angel
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Mana: 
 Posted: Fri Nov 28th, 2008 10:28 pm

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For the twelve days of Christmas, your true love will send you:



Twelve glam rockers drumming
Eleven snowmen a-melting
Ten reindeer a-leaping
Nine ladies yodeling
Eight sheep a-milking
Seven gingerbread men a-crumbling
Six kittens a-meowing
Five golden necklaces
Four calling secret admirers
Three French chefs bearing escargot
Two diamond pinky rings
And a fairy in a olive tree

What Will You Get for the 12 Days of Christmas?



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Angel
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Mana: 
 Posted: Fri Nov 28th, 2008 10:29 pm

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You Were Nice This Year



You Were 40% Naughty, 60% Nice

Okay, so you weren't *entirely* nice this year
But Santa doesn't expect a modern girl to be perfect
You were good enough - and you'll be rewarded for it

Were You a Naughty Girl or Nice Girl this Year?



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Angel
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Mana: 
 Posted: Sun Nov 30th, 2008 12:50 pm

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You Are a Gingerbread House



A little spicy and a little sweet, anyone would like to be lost in the woods with you.

What Holiday Food Are You?



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