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Joined: Fri Oct 27th, 2006
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My 2 Cents on Episode 3.09: Garden

Garden, like the episode before it, is something of a departure from the typical (was gonna say “normal,” but that’s a four letter word in the world of Lexx) season 3 feel. It is a lot more upbeat (in a “I’m smiling because I slept too close to a pool of gasoline last night” sort of way), and doesn’t carry with it the sense of impending doom that some of the other episodes this season did (save the ending, but that’s the whole point of a cliffhanger). In fact, with a few obvious exceptions, I can honestly say that in a way this was almost like a season 2 ep.

You’ve got to hand it to Kai. When he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing, he’ll be the first to tell you. Most of us (myself included) would probably declare, in our deepest profundo baritone and with the utmost snide confidence, that we knww exactly where Xev is, then grow increasingly jittery as the search drags on and yields no results, only to eventually succumb to a tear-soaked nervous breakdown in front of our friend, who knew all along that we had no idea where she was to begin with. Instead, Kai states it matter of factly, and goes about looking for her the hard way. And every once in a while (i.e., a show with a 48 minute runtime), a longshot pays off. There was Xev (presumably on Hogtown, but who the hell knows), alive, well, and with a mouthful of sand for some strange reason. That actually got me to thinking, how in the heck did she get all the way out there on that pillar? Did she jump? Did Prince push her, only to have her land there? (out of that special type of pure dumb luck that even an enigmatic embodiment of evil can’t foresee). Or, did Prince place her there for safekeeping? Yet another one of those unexplained little plot devices that we Lexxians will be scratching our collective head over for decades to come. But what the provided Xev with an excuse to take a shower, so I’ll dutifully shut my trap about the plot hole.

You’ve got to admire Stan. Amidst the nagging realization that the Lexx is going to crash headlong into one of those two planets in less than a week unless they scare up an ungodly amount of victuals, as well as the fact that he is undoubtedly still haunted by the knowledge that he went to the coital mountain top with Prince (I would think if anyone needs a shower, it’s our man Stan…spose Lexx could make pumice if you asked him to?), what does he decide to do? Sleep on it. That, meine damen und herren, is a man who knows how to prioritize.

Hate to harp on it, but the beans missed out on another golden comedic opportunity.  When Xev got back to the Lexx she should have nonchalantly asked Stan: “So…what did you do while I was gone?” only to have Stan tense up, shriek, scream, etc (one of those little improvised nonverbal tics that Brian Downey excels at).  ‘Nother road not taken…

Lyekka’s back!!! This little scenario further cements what we all already knew: Stan dreams about some steeeerange stuff. BTW, who else would have been cracked up by this dream sequence: upon asking Lyekka if she knows any “other” ways to please a man, she holds up the milking machine from hell that Stan was forced to wear in the last ep, leading to Stan waking up in a cold sweat and grasping for his nether regions to make sure the infernal machine isn’t really there? Once again, the road not taken (I promise I’ll wean myself off this subject, but for the love of God, he SHAGGED PRINCE!  I realize the tagline for this show is Looking for some strange?, but damn it, it’s tough to just pick up and move on after something like that happens!).

*Big breath…okay, I’m better…

So our heroes decided to take a little excursion down to Water because…well, what choice do they have? Gotta love the exterior shots of the Garden city. It’s so huge that you’ve got to wonder how three people can possible tend to it, but I suppose that falls under the “none of my damn business” category. While they were all certainly attractive, you’ve got to admit that the garments worn by the three gardeners were borderline seizure inducing. To be perfectly honest the first thing I thought about when I saw them was Xev’s old red wig from season 2. Does that mean that I’m weird (that is to say, moreso than I already was before), or do I simply have an uncanny sense of what matches?

As if attempting to strike up a lively conversation with Kai wasn’t migraine-inducing enough, Stan looks downright frustrated during his futile attempts to explain to the three buxom botanists exactly what it is that he wants (be the last damn thing on my mind if I was still reeling from the knowledge that I…aw, you know where this is going…). Stan is certainly a little more patient than we expected him to be. I’d have surely thought that when the girls said they had no concept of sex, Stan would have hopped in a moth and never looked back. Speaking of the girls, did anyone out there fail to notice the watering cans? Talk about a Freudian afterlife if ever there was one. That actually got me to thinking: how exactly did the beans go about explaining such designs to the prop makers? Do you suppose they were subtle about it, or did they just come right out and say “Give us all of the leftover props from The Birdcage?” You get the feeling that whoever grinds all of this stuff out eventually took to simply rolling their eyes any time one of the beans showed up with an order form.

Kai decides to bury himself. Well, the man in black (umm…not Johnny Cash…but you knew that) said it himself, the dead are messed up. Even though he is dead and is completely devoid of any and all emotions (save for the occasional bit of accidental sarcasm), he had to have been bored just lying there. Though it would have been a character break, I think it would have been funny if Kai had just stood up after a while and said “screw this, it’s not happening fast enough.” BTW, did anyone catch MM’s little slip up? He referred to being covered in “earth.” I realize this is a generic term for soil, but it’s important to remember that none of them have any knowledge of Earth’s existence. Well, Kai might, but since nobody ever asked him about it, he never spoke up. Lastly, wouldn’t it have been cool if the animal wranglers could have taught the bird that befriended Kai to sing part of the BG fight song?

Xev’s little glowing mushroom induced acid flashback was kind of cool (shades of Supernova), especially the silhouette of the cluster lizard. I like how it looked back on her life, her various incarnations, and the torturous hell that was her life in the wife bank. However, why did she have flashbacks of Stan wearing all of his “gear” if she wasn’t really there to see it? I’m gonna chock that up to whatever is in the mushrooms, and assume it’s a manifestation of her worst fear, or something like that.

Finally, after some extremely repetitive chanting, Lyekka materializes in the flesh. However she seems a lot hungrier this time around. In season 2 she only had to eat every now and then, while this version of Lyekka seems to have the perpetual munchies (yet another side effect of the glowing mushrooms?).

This may be a long shot, but why couldn’t they have utilized the mystical mushroom magic to make Xev a male Lyekka? Granted, he would also be smooth round the bend, but as Stan has pointed out so many times in this ep, there are other ways (I s’pose odds are pretty good he’d wind up being a carbon copy of Root, and would proceed to talk Xev’s ear off until she got frustrated and pushed him into Lyekka’s line of fire).

Xev’s goodbye really was a heart wrenching sequence. For all of her negative feelings about Stan (to say nothing of the fact that deep down, she’s probably pissed because Prince jumped his bones instead of hers…just had to throw that one in there), it’s clear that she doesn’t want to leave her friends.  As I’ve alluded to before, she—like Stan—desires connection above all else. For however steadfastly independent she might be, she can’t bear the thought of being alone, and the fact that she decides to stay “for the night,” solidifies this. It’s kind of funny how Stan is indifferent to her internal emotional tug-of-war at first…but, beneath his unsavory exterior and that layer of Prince-musk still clinging to his clothes, Stan is every bit the true blue friend to Xev that she is to him, and cannot bear the thought of losing her. Though they’re certainly at odds a number of times in season 4, I believe this season went a long way toward narrowing the longstanding rift between the two characters…to a point (Xev would still rather blow two of her toes off than touch him).

As to the ending…there isn’t one. The episode simply stops, but not before setting the stage for the next ep, one of the best of season 3, and my pick for best SFX of the entire series. One look at that fleet of gondolas and you just know it’s going to get bloody once the next round of opening credits wind down. You also get the feeling that perhaps Stan is on to something when he rants about bad things happening no matter where they go (not to mention I was half-expecting Prince to lean over the side of one of those Gondolas and shout “Stanley…you never called!”)

Cheery bye.


Joined: Sat Oct 28th, 2006
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Bilbo, your 2 cents are such a pleasure to read!  & I know exactly what you mean about those watering cans..... it took them a while to register the 1st time I saw Garden.. but when they did ....       :speechless:    &    :roflrofla:




Divine Executioner

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jerhume wrote: Bilbo, your 2 cents are such a pleasure to read!  & I know exactly what you mean about those watering cans..... it took them a while to register the 1st time I saw Garden.. but when they did ....       :speechless:    &    :roflrofla:




Hehehehehehe... they were phallic, much like alot of Lexx was, just another touch of the beans.  I like your view into these epsides, Bilbo, I see things I may have missed the first time around or even the second time around, keep them coming!

Divine Executioner

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Hey my favorite bits were the mushroom eating scene and the "Kai buried in the garden' scene...very surreal, which is why I liked it...very'Alice in Wonderland'..



Divine Assassin

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Prince to lean over the side of one of those Gondolas and shout “Stanley…you never called!”)


LOL cracks me up..ya crack me up Bilbo! Ya so damn e-bil..I liked this episode too but only because I thought I could grow my very own dark assassin but when the eppy finished and there was no 1800 number to call for seeds I was very disappointed! oh well such is la vie en 

Karin Spaink

Joined: Thu Jul 17th, 2008
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Weird episode, slightly surreal (mushroomy indeed), but unlike Bilbo, I kept having a sense of impending doom. At first, I expected the gardeners were in the habit of killing all men to be used as fertilizer; then, I expected our crew to grow more and more weird and bewitched over time. Given Stan's eternal lusting, I can imagine him wanting to stay; given that there isn't much around that can please Xev, I understand her wanting to leave.

But why in the world does Kai want to decompose? He states that being buried in the dirt is 'is the natural way of all dead things', but that notion is entirely new to him. He hasn't ever wanted to do that before, and I suspect the idea was planted (pun intended) by the gardeners. Also, Kai might believe that Stan is in good hands, but certainly he would want to continue to protect Xev. Somehow, it feels as if Kai is slowly giving up, which is reinforced by him singing the Brunnen-G battle hymn - he seems prepared to die, uhm... to become deader.

Last edited on Thu Jul 17th, 2008 10:51 pm by Karin Spaink


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LOVED the parrot; especially its "cooperation" with Kai!

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