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I'll think of a title later
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Joined: Sat Oct 28th, 2006
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 Posted: Fri Dec 8th, 2006 05:04 pm



The Lexx characters & Lexx stuff do not belong to me, but I have just borrowed them to play with for a while. No profit made, or intention to deprive of rights, Valdron’s handy dandy disclaimer, yada yada, etc.

This isn’t the first fanfic I’ve written – I’m still in the middle of that one! But it’s the first I’ve ever posted anywhere…. it’s just an everyday story of Lexx folk…

I’ll think of a title later.

Part 1

 Xev was bored. Mind numbingly, tediously, crushingly bored. It was a strange feeling, to be both terrified and bored at the same time, she reflected.
Mantrid was devouring the universe at an increasing rate, the Lexx and everyone on board was on his hit list and the likelihood was they were all going to die; but, right now, she longed for something – anything - to happen.
Come to think of it, it felt oddly familiar, being afraid and bored. Where had she…? 
She shut her eyes, to see what pictures came. There it was, the robot that fed her when she was young, the bleak dark walls of the box she had lived in for so many years, and Matron. The all powerful, all controlling voice, strident with suppressed fury or falsely cooing at her on the rare occasions she seemed to please her. The huge lipsticked mouth, writhing over huge predatory teeth, the cold eyes. Xev still had horrible dreams about her awful childhood and woke up with tears on her face.
Poor Zev Bellringer, unloved, unwanted, unlovely – until her life had taken a turn for the weirder. Several turns, really.
“And the fun never stops, “ she thought to herself.
Funny, it hadn’t occurred to her until now that Matron had probably been a reject from the Wifebank herself. 

She wandered onto the bridge, for lack of anything better to do, hoping that Lyekka might be there. She wasn’t.
Stan was swinging gently on the bridge’s central stem, humming to himself.
“Xev!” gasped the robot head from the floor. “You are perfection personified!”
“Thank you 790,” she said absently. “Anything happening, Stanley?”
“Well, Lexx is hungry again,”
“Yes Stanley. I am very hungry,” the huge gentle voice sounded everywhere.
“Well Lexx, we’re looking for a planet where you can eat,” Stan said loudly and slowly, “790 says there are a few systems in this part of the universe,”
“Oh – good.”
Xev sat down gently on the lewdly gasping robot head.
“Stan, I am really bored. We need to go and meet some new people or something on one of these planets. Some new food would be good, too.”
Stan swung himself down.
“I’m bored too, Xev – but we’ve got to go to the centre of the universe to fight Mantrid. We can’t waste time playing about on every planet we come to. Besides, it’s always dangerous and unpleasant every time we leave the Lexx.”
“Hmmm.” Xev decided she would save the argument until they found a suitable planet. “Has Lyekka been around lately?”
“Not for the last few days,”
Xev gave a tiny Cluster Lizard snarl of frustration. It was so boring.

What no one else knew was, on the lonely nights, when Stan’s snoring echoed through the passages, Kai was coldly inert in his cryopod and 790 was at last quiet because he thought Xev was asleep, Lyekka sometimes dropped lightly down from her pod and silently made her way to Xev’s round bed. Together they discussed clothes, hair, sex and love and giggled about men, just like real girlfriends.
Real girlfriends were one of the many things Xev had learned about from Lyekka. Being raised in a box had taught her little about her own kind.
Despite not even being human, Lyekka could read the minds, dreams and innermost desires of humans, even from a distance. That was how she ate, after all. So she had a lot of insight and a lot of things to teach Xev about her own species.
Hmmm. Own species? Xev shrugged. She had started out human, anyway. 

Xev had also learned a few other things about relieving tension from Lyekka so that she could relax and get some sleep, freed for a while from the ravings of her enhanced libido. Xev smiled to herself.  Lyekka smelled and tasted sweet, and she was both beautiful and undemanding. She had even offered a sisterly shoulder to cry on, mopping up some of Xev’s hot tears over Kai’s indifference.
More than that, Lyekka was benign – at least as far as she and Stan were concerned - as long as she wasn’t hungry. Xev wouldn’t be here now, alive and whole, if it hadn’t been for Lyekka, remaking her. 
After Lyekka had explained to her about how she had fused her essence with another human’s cells, Xev often thought about the man whose protein formed most of her new body. Captain Moss. He had been a basically good, if rather dull man, by all accounts, who had loved his home planet, his wife and his garden.
Xev wondered if the almost unbearable yearning for a home, which swept over her from time to time, was a legacy from him. Then she wondered if this attraction to females came from Moss, or if it was from her love slave makeover, which could make almost anything seem erotically charged  - except for Stan.

As if he heard her thought, Stan looked across at her with that half pleading, half resentful expression on his face. Xev wondered for the thousandth time why she couldn’t want the real live man in front of her. Everything she needed was there, waiting and willing to please her. But it was unthinkable.
Xev got to her feet, aware that the eyes of both man and robot head followed the movement hungrily. She turned on her heel and left the bridge.
Kai. She had to see him.
Oh, she wasn’t fooling herself any more. His eyes were never going to light up with pleasure to see her, or to close in ecstasy as she touched him. But she wanted – needed – to be around him just the same.
Sometimes it was enough to watch the still, blurred form through the cryopod glass, eyes running up and down the shapely legs and slim body, lingering on the well shaped, capable hands. Other times, she had to hear that melodious baritone, see the intelligence at work behind those clear hazel eyes, and imagine her mouth on his full lips. On the rare occasions he allowed himself to be hugged, she relished the feel of that unnaturally hard body, the faintly chemical smell of him and the smooth icy cheek against hers.
Realising that her own cheeks were flushing and heart rate increasing, Xev took a deep breath and tried to still the hormones whirling through her system. Perhaps Lyekka would visit her tonight…
A footstep sounded across the chamber. Xev didn’t turn round; she didn’t care why Stan had followed her. Nine times out of ten it was just to gaze wordlessly at her, or even worse, to whinge at her.  She sighed softly and kept her eyes on her dead man.
Kai’s tranquil ashen face, with its faint frosting of ice, contrasted beautifully with that inky black hair. Xev tried to imagine him bronzed or rosy cheeked, and failed. The faint hum of the cryochamber soothed her as she pressed her face against the chill glass.
The footsteps receded.

A few days later, Xev was sitting cross-legged on her bed, putting the finishing touches to her new skirt. She had shed the skin some weeks ago and it had dried well, supple and with good colour.
Lyekka lounged on the other side, idly flicking the tendril-like sash of her outfit back and forth. Today, she was resplendent in a blood red skirt, split to the thigh, matching high-heeled boots and cropped top that showed her slim midriff and the tops of her breasts – well, Xev knew they weren’t really breasts. Lyekka’s golden hair was looped round a feathery red pom-pom that swayed precariously above her crown. She looked like the exotic flower that she was.
“How do you change your clothes so often?” Xev had asked Lyekka once, half jealously, eyeing yet another brightly coloured, gorgeous garment.
Lyekka had gurgled in amusement.
“These aren’t clothes, Xev! These are petals.”
To attract her prey, Xev realised. 

 “Hey - we’ve arrived at a planet where Lexx can eat.”  Stan poked his head round the corner.
“Hello Stanley,” Lyekka smiled up at him fondly.
She really did seem genuinely to like him, Xev thought.
“Lyekka!” Stan’s face lit up. “I didn’t know you were up.”
“Well, I am up, Stanley. I am happy to see you.”
Xev stood up and stretched luxuriously. She was ready for some action.
“When are we landing, Stan?”
“Soon, Xev – but I told you, we won’t be exploring. There’s no time.”
“I am a bit hungry,” announced Lyekka. “Will there be something tasty on this planet?”
Stan shot her an anxious glance.
“790 says there are some cities and farms.”
“Good,” Lyekka’s smile grew even wider.

 Xev smirked at Stan’s retreating back. If Lyekka was hungry, Stan had no choice but to cave in. They were going on a trip planetside.
“I am only a little bit hungry really,” confided Lyekka. “But I think you really want to go down to a planet for some fun, don’t you?”
Xev looked at Lyekka open mouthed.
“You mean you lied?”
“Well, Stanley wouldn’t go out unless he thought we had to”
Xev and Lyekka both burst out laughing.
“Shh, I think Stan’s coming back,” Xev hissed, hearing footsteps.
Lyekka put her head on one side.
“That’s not Stan,”
Xev wasn’t really listening. She held up the skirt for Lyekka’s inspection, “What do you think?”
“I think you will look very nice,” smiled Lyekka. “Are you going hunting, too?”
“In a way,” Xev said.

The Lexx was happily munching his way through a dense forest when the four and a half beings alighted, in the tawny glow of the planet’s orange sun.
“I will see you all in a little while.” Lyekka set out along a narrow road, which wound up through some low hills. Smoke could be seen rising into the sky some distance away.
Stan shuddered slightly. “I think we all ought to go this way,” he said firmly, heading off in the opposite direction.
Xev smiled in anticipation as they saw the towers and spires of a city. Here would be entertainment, fun - and men. Even Stanley, usually so pessimistic about new planets, began to look cheerful at the prospect of some bright city lights. Kai, 790 tucked under his arm, followed them, his usual impassive self.

The city was called Fandarum, after the planet. Its centre had an impressive number of shops, bars and clubs, with an open-air market in a wide tree-lined square. The populace scurried busily about on raised pathways and there was a constant stream of vehicles running along on grooves set into the streets. There were also some large animals in the streets, being ridden or pulling carts. Their mournful, hooting cries mingled with the hum of motors, voices shouting, arguing, laughing and snatches of music from every open doorway.
They wandered about, taking in the crooked little shops and stalls, piled high with fruits and foods and strange but fascinating objects.
Xev patted Kai’s arm and pointed, “Look, there’s a theatre!”
The stall sold miniatures and had a perfect little theatre with curtains and lights; and a tiny cast acting out a story, their tinny voices declaring the rhyming couplets. Xev smiled in delight – she was pleased that she had learned about theatre from their recent encounter with one out there in space. Then she saw the minute dancing couple, twirling round to jaunty music on a metal tray no bigger than her hand, the woman wearing a pretty green dress and her handsome dark-haired partner holding her tightly. “Oh, I want that!”
Stan barely glanced at it, his eyes being drawn to an incredibly supple young woman who was glancing at him, upside down from between her own legs. As he watched, entranced, she uncurled herself slowly and walked away on her hands, the purple tassels of her costume and her blue hair swaying. There were golden-skinned musicians playing spiky instruments and beating drums in frenzy, sweat running down their muscular torsos. Exotic dancers clapped and whooped, bright birds sang from gilded cages, bizarre perfumes and rich food scented the air, and everywhere there was colour and movement. Xev drank it all in, senses reeling.
“A flower for a beautiful lady!” The flower seller was behind Xev, proffering a huge turquoise bloom, almost the size of her head. 790 snarled at him, baring virtual teeth horribly, and he almost dropped it.

The sky was growing dark and the stallholders and entertainers were packing up their paraphernalia for the night. The sky was filled with the faintly glowing ring they had seen around the planet on the screen. It would never grow truly dark on Fandarum; there would always be that dappled misty glow across one fourth of the sky. It was beautiful.
Seated round a table that had a good view of the stage, Xev, Stan and Kai did not look out of place in the club. The robot head on the table got a few amused glances, however.
A waitress glided up to them, the flickering lights glinting off her mirror-lastic bra and thong set. The tattoo on her left breast announced she was Kinki. With difficulty, Stan resisted the temptation to ask her what the other one was called.
“What’ll it be?”
Stan had saved some currency from their last planetary adventure – he had liked the pictures on the small square coins - and, having established it was good here, he ordered drinks. Lots of drinks. And the best food in the house. And established that Kinki got off work in three hours.

The band was awesome! Xev had never heard music like that before. The notes were like liquid, cascading down in torrents – or splashing about wildly, whilst the thrum and drum of the rhythm carried on underneath, like a heartbeat. It stirred her in a way she had never before associated with music, only with love or sex or beauty.
And the singers! They used their voices like musical instruments, screeching, moaning and wailing in a way that should have been grotesque – but ended up being magnificent.
Noticing her shining eyes and tapping feet, Kai leant forward.
“I believe this kind of music is called ‘jazz.’ It originated with an oppressed people on a distant planet, and has spread throughout this universe. It is characterised by a syncopated rhythm, with solo or group improvisation, and a variety of harmonic idioms and instrumental techniques.”
Xev swayed happily, not listening to a word.
Kinki had brought them several different coloured bottles and some rolled up paper tubes. You set fire to the tip and sucked in the smoke from the other end. The smoke made your head go all floaty and the music swell and echo. Xev had quite liked the sensation but not as much as Stan, who had a great deal and had become giggly and vague.
“Tweedle has addled his already hopelessly scrambled brains,” 790 had remarked acidly. “Not that we notice any difference.”
 “Care to dance?”
The man was tall, with mild grey eyes and long yellow hair. He held out a tattooed hand to Xev.
“Don’t do it, love-custard!” 790 responded anxiously. “Take off, buster. She’s staying sitting here!”
“790!” Xev frowned and smiled simultaneously, as she slid out from the table and joined him on the dance floor. 

Hours later, Xev had invented her own dance steps, followed eagerly by Duvad, her dance partner. She ended with a wild leap and a flourish and then headed back to the table to drain her bubbly pink drink.
Kai was watching the band intently, despite the two slinky women on either side of him who were trying to engage him in conversation, and there was no sign of Stan.
790 was sulking and refused to say where he had gone. Mutterings were heard about primitives groping galactic goddesses.
She ordered him “off “and looking round for Stan, caught sight of him, swaying, wrapped around a giggling Kinki on the dance floor. He looked as hot as she felt.
“I think I need another drink.”
Duvad and Kai spoke together, “I’ll go to the bar,” They stopped and looked at each other, Duvad with some uncertainty.
“Sorry – are you two an item?” Duvad said. “I don’t want to…”
“We are not an item.” Kai said with finality.
“Oooh, well maybe we could … get together,” simpered one of the hussies, placing a possessive (and ignored) hand on Kai’s thigh.
Xev pressed her lips together and turned to Duvad.
“Perhaps we could go somewhere quieter and have sex,”

Duvad's eyebrows shot up into his yellow fringe.

Divine Assassin

Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
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 Posted: Fri Dec 8th, 2006 05:37 pm


Ooooo excellently written and quite entrancing! Very discriptive ..more please..thank you!


Don't sprinkle sugar on your bullshit and then tell me it's candy!

Joined: Sat Oct 28th, 2006
Location: USA
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 Posted: Fri Dec 8th, 2006 06:00 pm


Three questions:

1.  What to you mean Xev's breasts aren't real?  They look real to me!

2.  So when Xev is sewing her new Lizzard skin outfit, and showing it to Lyekka, is she naked?

3.  Will you be adding illustrations later?:c030a:

Very nice read, look forward to the continuation!



Divine Executioner

Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
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 Posted: Fri Dec 8th, 2006 06:20 pm


Very very good, I bet Duvad won't say no to Xev! If you think up the title, let me know and I shall change it for you. 

Lyekka's breasts weren't real, Veyron!  Xev's are!  Do you want a piccie?  *wink*

The dead do not squeeze and please....
Divine Assassin

Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
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 Posted: Fri Dec 8th, 2006 06:26 pm


veyron wrote: Three questions:

1.  What to you mean Xev's breasts aren't real?  They look real to me!

2.  So when Xev is sewing her new Lizzard skin outfit, and showing it to Lyekka, is she naked?

3.  Will you be adding illustrations later?:c030a:

Very nice read, look forward to the continuation!





Don't sprinkle sugar on your bullshit and then tell me it's candy!

Joined: Sat Oct 28th, 2006
Location: USA
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 Posted: Fri Dec 8th, 2006 06:33 pm


Oh yeah, I guess I got over excited and read it too fast.

So what do you mean Lyekka's breasts arent real, they look real to me..and Stan wouldnt dream up fake breasts now would he?  LOL ok, so shes a plant!

Will there be illustrations?


Divine Assassin

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 Posted: Fri Dec 8th, 2006 09:19 pm


That was great jerhume! I really enjoyed that! :)

What are you looking at?

Joined: Sat Oct 28th, 2006
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 Posted: Sun Dec 10th, 2006 01:48 am


Thanx for the encouragement, I am kind of enjoying playing with them all... but it's much harder than I thought... here's a bit more...

Part 2

Xev opened her eyes to warm orange daylight. The ceiling was curved and green with painted flowers and birds. After a moment’s panic, she turned her head to see yellow hair spread over the pillow next to her.
She smiled, remembering last night. Duvad had been a vigorous yet considerate lover. She felt good. He stirred next to her, rolled over and kissed her ear lobe.
"Good morning," he whispered. His breath in her ear made her squirm with sensation. He drew her closer and after a long kiss that left her breathless, his hands began to move down her body.

Outside, Kai and 790 could hear Xev’s cries as Duvad pleasured her again.
790, placed on Duvad’s gatepost overnight, had shouted invective for about the first hour that Xev had been in Duvad’s apartment, switched to pleading and crying for the second and third; and was now moaning softly to himself from time to time.

Kai had spent most of the night in the club, with occasional forays to stand outside the apartment, checking that Xev was safe, and to watch the progress of that incredible, radiant arch across the sky. He had managed to shake off the two women, who had given up on trying to seduce him, and he had taken part in some very interesting conversations, as well as learning more about jazz.
He hadn’t seen Stanley for a few hours, but assumed that he was off somewhere with the waitress called Kinki, meeting his sexual needs.

Xev sauntered slowly towards them, turning to wave to an exhausted-looking Duvad in the window.
"Oh my darling! Did that crude cretinous creature ravish you?" 790 sorrowed.
"Yes." Xev smiled hugely. "He did. Lots."
"Oh, dreadful, horrible!"
"Xev." Kai said. "The Lexx must be replete by now. Are you ready to return?"
"I think so," she said. "Where’s Stan?"
"I do not know,"

They walked towards the market square. It was crowded as before, with the stalls and goods from the shops spilling out, tables and chairs set out in front of the bars.
But the atmosphere was different today.
The crowds were quieter, there was no music; and people seemed to be standing around, waiting for something. Many of them were holding long hollow tubes, about the length of an arm. Xev wondered what they were.
"There they are!" someone yelled.
"Xev, get behind me – now!" Kai said urgently.
"Murderers! You will answer for your crimes." Two men had come up behind Xev and grasped her by each wrist, making her let go of 790, who fell to the ground, with a wail.

Kai whirled and dragged the bigger man off her, one handed, crushing his throat, throwing down the corpse. Xev wrenched her arm free of the other and punched him in the eye.
As she did so, she heard the screee-thwack of Kai’s brace and horrified shouts. She risked a quick peep and saw three more men lying bloodily dead on the coloured paving stones. There were three bladed missiles in Kai’s chest, still quivering from the impact.
" I will kill more of you, if you attempt to harm Xev." Kai said stonily. He pulled the tiny sharp knives out of him and dropped them carelessly, to tinkle on the paving.
There were gasps and murmuring from the crowd. Some continued uncertainly to point their tubular weapons at Kai as they backed away, leaving a wide ring around the two strangers. Finally, a white-haired woman stepped forward, people moving aside for her deferentially.
"Are you a robot?"
"No, I am a dead Assassin. I cannot be killed or stopped by any of you. And I will protect Xev, whatever it takes. You would be wise to stop this attack."
"I am Tila, the City Senior Senator. Your friend has attacked and killed some of us. Are we not to protect ourselves?"
The crowd agreed noisily and began to shout and wave their weapons.
Kai extended his arm and the sharp curved pincers of his brace appeared. The clamour died down abruptly.
"Xev has attacked and killed no one," he said into the scared silence. "Perhaps you had better tell us what has happened during the night."

"Where is Stanley Tweedle?"
Sitting round the same table from last night, with Tila and two male sub-Senators, Brindor and Hanrith, they learned that Kinki had been found strangled in her apartment, naked, raped and beaten.
The mob had been conducting house-to-house searches all over the city, with no sign of Stan.
"And that is not all. An entire family has been found dead on one of the farms outside the city. All have been raped and murdered in the same way as poor Kinki. They were all left with…articles inserted into them – that is how we know it was the same person, or persons who did it. It is an evil violation."
"Your Stanley Tweedle was the last one seen with Kinki. He was all over her, too – everyone saw it," finished Brindor.
"Stan would never dream…!" began Xev hotly.
"Then where is he? Innocent people don’t run away."
"They might if there was a lynch mob after them,"
"The penalty for rape and murder is death – and the people carry it out. A Justice and Retribution Faction is formed out of nine upright citizens – it is not a lynch mob."
"I always knew that Tweedle was a sad sexual degenerate, ruled by his disgusting lusts," 790 said. "He was always trying it on with my poor innocent angel."
Tila, Hanrith and Brindor stiffened, looking at each other meaningfully. Xev glared at the robot head. "790! Off!"
"That was not helpful," said Kai.
"Perhaps it was," said Hanrith.
"It is not justice simply to assume guilt without a trial, " Kai said. "What kind of legal system do you have on this planet?"
"Everyone gets a fair trial on Fandarum – with two exceptions," said Tila. "Those who confess their guilt are assumed not to need a trial, and those who run away are automatically assumed to be guilty, and do not need a trial."
"That does not explain why your people fired their weapons on Xev and myself."
"On Fandarum, family or household members of a criminal all suffer the same penalty." Hanrith explained.
"What?" Xev’s jaw dropped.
"It helps maintain law and order. Families are highly motivated to regulate themselves."
"But that’s so unfair!"
"The families of recidivists and psychopaths have the option to discard them officially, thereby becoming exempt from retribution for their crimes." Tila said. "But in general, the system works well. We have very little crime here on Fandarum."
Frowning, Kai said, "We will neither discard Stanley Tweedle, nor submit to a questionable system of justice where a person’s guilt is not proven."
There was a tense silence, with the three Senators repeating the glancing uneasily at each other.
"We clearly cannot compel you," Tila said. "It would be better for Fandarum if you would all just leave and never return. But the wheels of justice are in motion; the Justice and Retribution Faction have been sworn in and are out hunting for Tweedle now. If they find him, they will execute him."
"Then we must find him first." Kai stood up.
"Wait, " Tila also stood, "What will you do if the Justice and Retribution Faction get to him first? I must have your assurance that our citizens will not be harmed further. You may not like our system of justice, but you are on our planet – and you should abide by our laws."
She was a small woman but held herself erect, looking steadily into Kai’s eyes. Kai paused.
"Very well," he said at last. "You are acting in accordance with your own laws. If we do not find Stanley first, I will kill those who do. But I will not kill you or your Senate, or anyone else. However, I intend to find him – and then I intend to protect him."
"I cannot pretend to be happy with what you are saying. But we are powerless to prevent you."
"Yes," said Kai. "You are."

"Kai, how are we going to find Stan before that mob does?" Xev paced up and down.
Kai thought briefly.
"We will ask Lyekka to locate him. Lyekka has the ability to sense people at a distance, and she has an affinity for Stan."
"Good. Now all we need to do is locate Lyekka."
The Fandarumians were not keen about them leaving the club, or the city, but they knew they were unable to detain them and were unwilling to try. Word of the implacable, indestructible Assassin had got about.
They walked back the way they had come, out of the city, in a hostile silence, broken only by occasional hissing. Many glowering eyes followed them.
Once they had left the city limits, the shouting after them began.
"Cursed offworlders!"
"Get back to where you came from!"
Under Kais’ arm, 790’s eyes lit up.
"Hi, I’m back! What are we doing?"
"We are seeking Lyekka to help locate Stan,"
"Why bother? This is the chance we’ve been waiting for – to ditch Tweedle, the killer sex pervert loser,"
"Shut up, 790," Xev said wearily.

Stan crouched up in the branches of a tree, panting. He couldn’t believe how quickly things had gone from delight to dread. Kinki, poor little Kinki. She had been so warm and willing last night and he had pleased her, too; he knew he had. They had fallen asleep in each other’s arms.
He had awoken to horror. Kinki, naked, cold and stiff beside him, head at an unnatural angle. But the worst of it was the desecration. Objects inserted into every orifice, the pathetic thin little body laid out in a parody of a sexy pose. Stan wondered how in the sub nebula he had slept through what must have been a hideous violent scene. It must have been the drugs. And the drink. Oh boy. If only he could get rid of the nagging little doubt…. he wasn’t used to intoxicants. Supposing it had been him? No, no, NO.
He heard them coming nearer and tried to quieten his loud breaths. He had run all he could and he was done for. Where was Kai? If only they hadn’t come to this planet…

Lexx was at rest in the middle of a vast barren plain, which had been a forest yesterday. Xev couldn’t help regretting it; it looked so ugly now. But the Lexx had to eat. There was no way to communicate with the big bug without Stan and so they began to walk up the path to the hills, where Lyekka had gone. There was no smoke to be seen this time.
A cluster of small colour washed domes came into view, with a few domestic fowl scratching about in the yard. One of the riding animals was in a pen, watching them, as they approached. Its long snout twitched, as it caught their scent and it hooted softly.
"Lyekka!" Xev called.
"Hello Xev,"
Lyekka came out of one of the domes, smiling and sated. Her eyes met Kai’s briefly but she did not greet him. Xev knew that Kai and Lyekka existed mostly in a state of armed truce. Kai thought Lyekka might be more dangerous to them than she appeared and Lyekka barely acknowledged the existence of anything that was not alive.
"Have you…eaten?" Xev asked her.
"Yes, I found some very nice people," Lyekka said happily. "They were delicious."
"Have you seen Stan?"
"No, I have not." Lyekka frowned. "Is he lost?"
"Possibly," said Kai.

A short walk later, Lyekka’s head turned sharply. "He is over there, in that direction. He is afraid."
Kai tossed 790 to Xev and began to run towards the area Lyekka had indicated.
A number of raised voices could be heard, and then, as they grew closer, Stan’s voice, above the others, "Help! Somebody help me!"
As they burst through a clump of trees into a clearing, Stan was writhing hopelessly in the air, a rope round his neck, hands tied together; hanging from a tree. With a high whine, the golden key to the Lexx left his hand. No one noticed.
Then all at once Stan was on the ground, choking and gasping.

Kai’s brace sprang back into his hand. He stood in front of Stan, shielding him from the crowd, legs apart, alert and icy cold. It was another taste, Xev thought, of how terrifying he must have been in his Assassin years. He addressed the Justice and Retribution Faction, around ten men, who were open mouthed and apprehensive at the disruption.
"I advise none of you to move. One twitch and I will kill all of you. Xev, is Stanley alive?"
Lyekka and Xev, kneeling either side of Stan, were removing the severed noose, undoing bonds, stroking his brow and helping him sit up.
"Yes, Kai. Stan is going to be OK."
"You are fortunate," Kai told the utterly still group.

"Oh thank you, thank you Kai" Stan whispered hoarsely." I really thought I was going to die." He got shakily to his feet, Lyekka and Xev supporting him.
Slowly, Stan straightened up and glared at his would be executioners.
"I don’t know what all that was about," he said angrily, between coughs. "I told you, you’ve got the wrong man. Justice and Retribution Faction! Injustice and Revenge Faction, more like."
"Go back to the Lexx, now, where you will be safe." Kai told them. "I will finish up here."
He turned back to the Faction, who remained statue-like and grey-faced with fear. A small puddle of urine had appeared at the feet of one of them.

"I don’t know where I put 790," Xev looked round vaguely. "I think I put him down somewhere when we heard you, Stan."
"OK Xev, we’ll go and pick him up and then we’ll get off this stupid planet, where people try and kill innocent visitors, for absolutely no reason."
Not without dignity, Stan turned and stalked away, the two females beside him.
"All of you - go back to the city of Fandarum, now." Kai ordered the Faction. "If anyone follows us, I will kill him. We are leaving soon."
They all sagged with relief and left quickly, glancing over their shoulders and breaking into little sprints, in their eagerness to get away.

"I was totally knocked out by that dope. And when I woke up, she was dead – and cold," Stan told Xev and Lyekka dolefully, as they walked towards the Lexx. "It was horrible. And she was really sweet, you know?"
"Poor Stanley," Lyekka’s eyes were big and sympathetic.
"Yeah. Anyone would have run away. It was awful. And then they half killed me. Look at my neck!" There was an angry red line round Stan’s throat.
Lyekka patted him. "I am happy that you are all right, Stanley."
"Xev! Xev darling! Over here!"
Xev scooped 790 up into her arms.
"Oh. They rescued you then, Tweedle. What a drag."
Stan scowled.
"No, it’s impossible. You can’t make that hideous face any uglier."
"Shut the tin can up for me, Xev." Stan said tightly.
He strode off ahead with Lyekka.

When Xev and 790 arrived at the Lexx, Stan and Lyekka were sitting outside.
"The key’s gone – we can’t get into the Lexx." Stan said. "Wake up next to a cold corpse. Get hunted down like an animal and half killed. Lose the key to your ship. The perfect end to a perfect day."
"What?" Xev snapped her fingers "Of course. You must have been really near to death, Stan."
"I told you I was. Now what are we going to do? We don’t know who’s got the key. It could be any one of that mob - and I really don’t want to go back to that city, to find out." Stan put his head in his hands.
"Losing the key - how useless is that meat sack?" 790 crowed.
It was too much for Stan. He snatched the robot head from Xev’s arms and threw it wildly. Luckily for 790, he bounced squelchingly in some vegetation before landing in a bush.
"OK," Xev took Stan’s hand and pulled him to his feet. "We’re going to wait for Kai back up at that farm. We can make a fire, get something to eat and relax. It’ll be safer there."
She went to retrieve 790.
"I don’t know what Kai is doing. I’ll leave 790 here to tell him where we are."
"Good," said Stan.


Divine Executioner

Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11436
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Sun Dec 10th, 2006 02:53 am


OH goodness, what mess has Stan unknowingly gotten himself into now!  He must have been drugged to have slept through such a horrible tragedy going on right next to him.  I wonder how they will discover who has the key.  *anxiously waiting for more*

The dead do not squeeze and please....
Divine Assassin

Joined: Mon Oct 30th, 2006
Location: Watching The King Of Fools Run
Posts: 189
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Wed Dec 13th, 2006 06:34 am


Ohhhh, another Lexxish story out there....

I like the start, now waiting verrrry excited what´s going to happen now.....

mhhh, what does Kai do????? *bits on her nails*



You feel at ease as you flock with the masses,
What do you see with your heads in their asses?
Keep on railing at what I believe ,
Call me insane and I am proud to be.

And I walk the wicked way!

Joined: Sat Oct 28th, 2006
Location: Lexxfan Attic
Posts: 323
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Tue Jan 2nd, 2007 06:18 pm


OK, another bit - this is the bit with S-E-X in it, so if you are easily offended, don't read it....


Part 3
Stan was curled up asleep on the rug in front of the flickering fire. Xev sat with her feet up and a steaming cup by her elbow. It was a cosy little room, with soft seats, pictures on the walls and interesting bits and pieces, the uses of which Xev could not guess. 
As Lyekka had eaten the previous occupants of this charming dwelling, (Xev shifted uncomfortably at the thought) they were undisturbed in here and had made themselves at home, helping themselves to food and drink. Xev fantasised for a while what it would be like if they decided to stay on this planet. If things were different. If there were no Mantrid, no Mantrid’s drones, no murderous lynch mobs…. then the thought occurred to her that if the key was not found, they might have no choice but to stay here.
Well, it would not be for long. Mantrid’s drones would see to that.
Lyekka stood up.
“Someone is coming.”
“Kai?” Xev looked out of the small round window.
“No. Someone alive.”

Xev was behind the door with a large metallic vessel that had held cut flowers. Lyekka faced the opening door. Her tendril shot out and wrapped around the neck of the man entering. Xev brought the vessel down on his head with a clang. He crumpled without a sound.
Looking at the yellow hair, Xev gasped and turned him over. It was Duvad.
He groaned, stirring. Lyekka whipped her tendril back round his throat.
“No, Lyekka!” Xev pulled at it. “This is Duvad – a friend.”
“Oh,” Lyekka retracted the wiry tendril. She sniffed at him and smiled her voracious smile. “He looks tasty.”
“Mmm, he is,” Xev felt a matching grin creeping over her face. “He’s the one I was with last night.”
“So,” Lyekka said mischievously, “He pollinated you?”
“You could say that,” said Xev.
Duvad opened his eyes to find two women giggling helplessly.
“Nice to know you care,” he said, sitting up and rubbing the back of his head.
“What are you doing here, Duvad?” Xev asked him, when she could finally speak.
“I could ask you the same question, luscious. This is my aunt and uncle’s place.”
“Oh,” Xev shot a guilty look at Lyekka.
“Where are they? Have you seen them?”
“Ah - no, I haven’t.”
“There were some horrible murders at the next farm. I came out because I was worried. I’m even more worried, now.”
“I heard about them. Your people think Stan did it.” Xev indicated Stan, still peacefully asleep. “We’re hiding here, until we can leave.”
Duvad got up and disappeared through a doorway. He could be heard searching the dwelling, opening doors and calling.
“I feel awful,” Xev said to Lyekka. “You’ve eaten his family!”
“They were very tasty,” said Lyekka. “And very happy to be eaten.”
“I don’t know if it’s kinder to tell him or not.”
The door opened, making them both jump. It was Kai.

“It would seem that one of the people in the Justice and Retribution Faction received the key to the Lexx from Stanley when he was close to the point of death,” Kai said.
Stan, now awake, was sitting with Lyekka on a couch. He nodded, massaging his neck. Xev and Duvad were either side of the fire.
Duvad had accepted some of his aunt and uncle’s heartwine and was staring into space. He had eyed Stan suspiciously at first but had relaxed slightly as the conversation continued and Stan had come across as his usual self-interested but harmless character.
Kai had quickly ascertained that neither Lyekka nor Xev had the key. Indeed, it was doubtful that a plant, even a sentient one, would be able to host it.

“If you want to return to the Lexx and carry on to meet Mantrid, we must locate all the men, until we ascertain who has it.” Kai said to Stan and Xev.
“Not me,” said Stan. “No way am I going back into that city.”
“You want the key back, don’t you?” Xev said to Stan, who was shaking his head slowly from side to side, arms folded.
“Can’t you find him and bring him here, Kai? And then half kill him, so the key leaves him – or kill him, I really don’t care which.” Stan said bitterly.
“I could do that, Stanley. But then you would stay here without me to protect you.”
Stan slumped in defeat.
“I guess I could help.” Duvad said slowly.
They all turned to him.
“I know some of them,” said Duvad. “Girlath, Mikul and Patar all live in Farandum city; Jimas and Frad live out towards the Girdle Lands.”
“Girdle Lands?”
“It’s the equatorial area of planet Farandum, where the Ring is edge-on and you can’t really see it. Few people live there – it gets really dark at night, and we don’t like the dark. But they have huge farms and hunting estates out there.”
“I don’t like the sound of that, “Stan began.
“Well, Jimas and Frad will remain in Farandum City for the next few days, at least.” Duvad said. “They are selling off their winter harvest at the City market. They drink in the Moon and Pack Aard, in the marketplace. A pub,” he added, seeing their uncomprehending faces.
“We will accompany you back into the city, to test who has the key.” Kai said.
“Tomorrow,” added Xev, looking at the darkening windowpanes. “I’m tired.”
She got up and began to switch on the burgundy shaded lamps, so that the whole room became red lit.
“I will keep watch, if you need to sleep,” Kai said. “I am certain that the citizens will not approach us but there are other aspects of this situation which are puzzling. I have been to look at the death scene on the next farm and I found this.”
The small round object Kai held out on his palm was the emblem of the Divine Order. Stan goggled at it. It was about the last thing Xev had expected to see, too.
She looked at Kai. “What do you think it means?”
“I do not know. But I have left 790 watching over the Lexx.”
Stan poured some more wine for himself. He exchanged worried glances with Xev.
“Someone connected with the Divine Order on Farandum is bad enough. With the key to the Lexx lost… oh boy.”
“Do you think the two things might be connected?” Xev asked Kai.
“I do not know. They may be.”
“Well, I’ll feel happier when we’ve got the key back.” Stan curled up with his head in Lyekka’s lap. “We’ll go back to the market first thing in the morning.”
“It may be time consuming, tracking down the ten men who were in the Faction.”
Duvad shook his head. “You mean nine men,”
Kai looked inward, briefly consulting his memory. “No, there were ten,”
“That’s impossible,” Duvad said. “There are always nine. No more, no less. It’s one of our oldest traditions.”
Xev looked at him with sudden revulsion. “You’ve done this.”
He nodded. “It’s one of our civic duties. We are proud to serve, in the cause of law and order.”
Xev folded her arms and leaned back, averting her eyes from him.
“Tell him, Lyekka.”
“Tell me what?”
“Your uncle and your aunt,” Lyekka said. “I ate them. They were very tasty.”
“You… ate them? You …?”
Stan shifted impatiently “If we could get back to the subject – “
Duvad’s horrified face crumpled. “You ate my family? That was my mother’s sister!”
“Yeah, Lyekka’s a man eating plant, it’s what she does. They wouldn’t have suffered, we’re sorry for your loss. Now, about the key…”
Duvad rose and stumbled his way to the door. “I’m not staying here another minute with you weird offworlders. You’ll probably eat me next. Just find your cursed key yourselves and get the mruff off my planet!”
The door slammed.
“Well that’s just great, Xev,” Stan said, “what did you have to go and do that for?”
Xev glared back. “In case you didn’t notice, Stan, I wasn’t the one who ate his family!”
“It will be more difficult to locate the Faction members without Duvad’s help,” Kai observed.
“You know Kai, sometimes you have a gift for stating the obvious,” Stan said, still petulant.
Kai frowned.
“In that case, allow me to state another obvious fact. There were definitely ten men in the Justice and Retribution Faction.”
“Nine, ten – what’s the difference?”
“It is another anomaly and perhaps significant.”

Outside, Xev took a few deep breaths and decided to walk a little in this beautiful fragrant evening. Two of Farandum’s moons had risen. The orange sun had nearly set and the evening song of the lizards had started up in the bushes. 
She arrived down at the Lexx and greeted 790, whose delight to see her was soothing. In truth, she now felt slightly guilty about wanting to hurt Duvad. All that stuff about law and order – especially order – had touched a nerve, she supposed.
790 reported that no one had approached the Lexx, apart from the shambling savage that had had the temerity to touch her.
She walked round the Lexx for half an hour until she saw him.
Duvad was astride the long snouted beast, looking the big bug up and down. “What on the Ruby Ring is this thing? And where are all my uncle’s trees?”
“It’s a long story,” Xev said, putting her hand on his arm. “But first, I think I owe you an apology.”

790 was composing his latest poem about Xev.
“Ah my sweet voluptuous goddess - Thoughts of you just make me … die. No… sigh. Thoughts of you just make me sigh - How I wish I had the chance to -
Lick and love you till you cry?  No. Take your mind off cold dead Kai? Mmm. If only…. Spend my life between your thighs! Yes, that’s it...”
The virtual eyes swivelled round. “Who’s there?”
No one answered and he went back to strangling rhymes.

Xev could feel Duvad shaking with silent laughter at the poetry, as she clung to him on the broad back of the animal. They headed out to the hills. The beast - it was called an Aard, Duvad told her – had a rolling gait, which meant that she had to put her arms right round him and hold on tightly. She pressed her breasts into his back and ran her hands over his chest, satisfyingly muscular, and slid them down his waist, noticing the quiver of his tight stomach muscles and his quickly indrawn breath.
Trees covered the gently undulating landscape. It must have been Spring in this part of Farandum because they were covered with blue blossom. There were tiny purple and blue flowers everywhere, their heady perfume filling the evening air. The chirrup of the tiny lizards could be heard echoing over the hills.
In the diffused glow of the Ring, they dismounted by a semi circle of trees. Here the ground was covered with some blue-green feathery vegetation. Duvad let the Aard wander off slowly by itself. It wound its way through the trees, making a snuffling sound with its long snout, looking for the insects that he had told her were its favourite food.
Duvad produced a striped blanket and a bottle of heartwine from a bag. They sat down and passed the bottle back and forth between them. Duvad lit up one of the smoke tubes and drew the smoke deeply into his lungs.
“The past couple of days I’ve had a lot to think about,” he said. “I believe you about Stan – I can’t see him doing any of those things. But that plant woman… you say she’s a friend of yours?”
“I wouldn’t be alive now, if it wasn’t for Lyekka.”
“You can’t just let her go round eating people.”
“Well…. I’m not sure we could stop her.”

Xev waved away the proffered tube. Duvad sucked on it hungrily a few more times and then threw it away into the dusk. He turned to her and leaned forward, brushing her lips with his own. Xev opened her mouth to his, tasting fragrant smoke and heartwine.
 Duvad gently caught up the hair at the back of her head and their kiss deepened. She wrapped her arms round him as their tongues slid slowly and luxuriously around one another. They broke off, gasping for breath, gazing intently into each other’s eyes for a moment before their swollen lips met again. Pulling his green shirt out from his trousers, she slid it down his shoulders and away. He had undone her clothes; she hadn’t noticed when, and slowly drew them off her, nibbling her neck and shoulders on his way down to her breasts. His cascade of silky yellow hair tickled her skin, adding to the sensation. That savage aching need rose in intensity; she growled softly in the back of her throat as he tongued her nipples, so tightly erect they hurt. She ran her fingers through his hair, sighing in pleasure as he sucked on her, his hands grasping each breast.
He stopped and sought her mouth again; warm hands sliding round to cup her bum. Xev pressed her tingling nipples into his chest as the kiss became wilder. She could feel his cock, hard against her belly. She broke from him and reached down to undo the laces at the front of his trousers, kissing her way down his chest as she did, lingering tantalisingly at his navel. Her tongue flicked inside and the resulting twitch of his belly muscles made her smile.
Duvad gasped as she seized his erection and drew him into her mouth. Eyes closed, she sucked him slowly, running her tongue around the head. He moaned softly, hips moving, but stopped her after a while.
“Wait a bit, luscious. Don’t want to end it, yet.”
He rolled her over on to her back and leaned over her, silhouetted against the glowing sky. He palmed her breasts, thumbs flicking her nipples, then stroked down her body to her belly. She writhed in delight and need, whimpering a little as he copied the tongue in navel action he had from her, grinning wickedly. As he kissed her above the pubis, he stroked the inside of her thighs, producing hot rivulets of sensation. Xev could smell her own musk as she opened to him. She was nearly past the point of no return – if he didn’t touch her soon she would burst – or kill him…
His hot breath was on her minge, that yellow hair was deliciously tickling her thighs and suddenly his tongue travelled up her cleft, flicking her clitoris. She heard herself making a bizarre involuntary sound, as the incredible electric feeling consumed her. He waited a beat and then did it again. And again. Xev was in extremis. The throbbing ache inside her demanded release. She screamed and thrust her hips towards him. He responded, kissing her minge as he had done her mouth, tongue moving in a blissful rhythm and his lips soft and mobile against hers. She arched her back, gasping, growling, as the sizzling rapture grew and then exploded in ecstasy through her body. 
As ever, she found herself briefly picturing Kai, as the orgasmic bliss took hold of her. She was used to it by now, and she had stopped feeling vaguely guilty about it. It wasn’t as if she purposely thought of him or fantasised (much) about him when having sex with anyone; he was just a constant thing in her life.
“You’re beautiful,” whispered Duvad huskily, kneeling above her.
“You are, too,” She opened her arms to him and kissed him tenderly, tasting herself. His leg slid between her damp thighs and she reached up to fondle his tight balls and his jutting cock.
Duvad caressed her, sliding his fingers wetly around and inside her vulva until she pushed his hand away. She needed to be filled by this man - now.
Duvad was happy to oblige. He positioned his cock at the entrance to her minge and teased her with the head. Xev felt her juice flowing and the empty aching build again. She grabbed his tight little butt and pulled him deeply into her. Both gasped with the pleasure of it. Duvad pulled away from her and began a slow thrusting, which she met, as they found the pace they wanted.
Xev looked up into his grey eyes, misty with passion and snarled lustily. He snarled back. Holy lizards, he was hot!
She gasped out, “Turn over,” wanting to touch him more, feel him touching her.
Straddling his hips, she lowered herself back onto him, feeling herself enveloping him deliciously, picking up the rhythm, as he cupped her breasts, squeezing her nipples so that she shuddered with pleasure. Soon, it was almost too much; she was near to the edge. Duvad rolled over with her for the final time, rearing above her, riding her powerfully and hard, just how she wanted it. Crying out, she reached her second orgasm, in blissful waves that shook her whole body.
Brifth thal mruff!”* Duvad thrust the last few times, as his orgasm joined hers; and then he collapsed next to her, panting.

It took a while for their breathing to get back to normal.
They shared the last of the heartwine, with many kisses, caresses and strokes, their limbs entwined; and as Duvad smoked another tube, they talked. Duvad told her of his life as a  - well, she could not really understand what it was that he did. The closest she could get to it was a “teacher of thought”; but this did not happen as you might expect in a school with children. Rather, adults would come to Duvad and request to spend time with him, talking. They would pay for this! Then, they would write down what they thought about the talks and Duvad would say whether what they thought was any good. Xev, incredulous but polite, listened, privately thinking what a waste of time this was.
Deciding that she wouldn’t burden him with the news about Mantrid, she told Duvad about her life before and after the Lexx. He was appalled by her experiences.
He had heard of the Divine Order of course; technically Farandum had been under its jurisdiction and paid taxes to it; but no Clerics or other officials had ever bothered with what they regarded as a primitive planet set in a Galactic backwater. After all, the Fandarumians even had their own language, as well as Standard Galanglish and they rarely bothered with off planet travel.
The Cleansing appeared to have passed it by. It was very distant from the Cluster. Xev thought they were lucky that no fleeing Clerics or Bio Scholars had turned up there to hide out their days.
He spoke with affection and sorrow of his dead uncle and aunt, who had watched over him when he moved to Farandum City as a youth, leaving his parents in the small southern town where he grew up. His jaw grew firm as he repeated his promise to help them get back the key, clearly wanting Lyekka – and possibly all of them - to leave his homeworld. Xev couldn’t blame him.
They began to yawn and the talking slowed down.
“It’s late,” Duvad said, consulting a small whirring sphere. “We should go and get some sleep.”
He whistled for the Aard, who returned slowly and heavily through the trees.



* “Sweet holy fuck!”





Divine Executioner

Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11436
Status:  Offline
 Posted: Wed Jan 3rd, 2007 01:43 am


jerhume wrote: OK, another bit - this is the bit with S-E-X in it,

I certainly liked the S-E-X in it!  What happened to the beast, is someone watching them?  Deeper into the mystery this story heads, who was the 10th man, and could he possibly have the key to the lexx?  Looking forward to more!

The dead do not squeeze and please....

 Current time is 12:29 pm

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