You have arrived in the LEXXVERSE where the spirit of Lexx lives on. Home

 Moderated by: Ketana, CheshireKat, aeonflux  
AuthorPost
mayaXXX
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Dark Zone, Naturally
Posts: 2464
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
1. I will not glue the Cryopod doors closed and then yell 'Fire"..

2. I will not send His Divine Shadow a Victoria's Secret Catalog with Stanley's name on it.

3. I will not Hide the Time Prophet's Bulova.

4. I will not put hot pink hair color in Kai's shampoo bottle.

5. I will not  tell the Lexx that it has 'Termites' and then offer to get rid of them for a price.

6. I will not tie Stanely in bed while sleeping and then yell 'Here's Feppo and Smoor!"

7. I will not tell Xev her Cluster Lizard outfit makes her ass look 'fat'...

8. I will not give 790 a jar of K-Y and tell him Kai is waiting for him in the Crycochamber.

9. I will not enter Prince in the 'Pimp of the Year' contest.

10. I will not have Stanley signed up for an Intergalactic Dating service run by Schlemmi.

 NEXT !!

:adu-8:

Last edited on Sat Nov 11th, 2006 02:07 am by mayaXXX

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
11.  I will not set up Fifi on a date with Mantrid

jerhume
Heretic


Joined: Sat Oct 28th, 2006
Location: Lexxfan Attic
Posts: 323
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
12. I will not hide Stan's hat

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
13.  I will not make Xev wear pants.

CheshireKat
Divine Assassin


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Colorado USA
Posts: 2920
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not let ANYONE take a shower alome:c030a:

aeonflux
Divine Assassin


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Blue Devil
Posts: 377
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
15. I will not wake up Kai the wrong way.

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
16.  I will not use the brace to cut hair

mayaXXX
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Dark Zone, Naturally
Posts: 2464
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
17. I will not switch out Kai's brace for a chicken rotisserie while he sleeps.

18. I will not stuff the feeding tube with yogurt.

19. I will not paint the Cryochamber walls lavender.

20. I will not play 'dress-up' with the Divine Shadow's robes .

:0-02:

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
21.  I will not make ponytails out of Kai's bun.

22.  I will not change out Stan's hat for a fedora.

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
23. I will not adorn Kai's assassin suit with  bugle beads

24.  I will not paint smilie faces on the lexx view screen with my nail polish

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
25.  I will not play football with the Divine Predecessors' brains.

XS4Xevr
Heretic


Joined: Sat Oct 28th, 2006
Location: Still Following Xev.
Posts: 107
Status:  Offline
Mana: 

I shall not put mothballs in the Moths.
:mothsm:


I shall not sneak up on XEV while she is asleep and pour chocalate on her tummy and... and... and...
:P


I shall not spray paint graffitti on Kai's cryochamber.
:re_06:


I shall not lay clear oil slick patches near the walkway edges.

:roll:


I shall not give 790 mechanical arms.
:thordin:

 

 

Last edited on Tue Nov 14th, 2006 05:48 am by XS4Xevr

MOK
Heretic


Joined: Thu Nov 9th, 2006
Location: San Antonio, Texas USA
Posts: 25
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not turn my back on Stan.

 

Hiya ya'll....nice to see you in the light zone at last.....

That dark corner was just too depressing.

 

I am well....spending entirely too much time playing chromehounds (but I'm #13 in the world right now).  Will try not to be such a stranger in the future...I miss you guys (and gals).:c030a: 

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Hey Mok, nice to see ya!

32.  I will not spray pesticide on a man eating plant.

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
33. I will not play hide and seek with Vlad on the Lexx!

mayaXXX
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Dark Zone, Naturally
Posts: 2464
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Hey MOK !! Glad to see you here !:s010a:

XS4Xevr
Heretic


Joined: Sat Oct 28th, 2006
Location: Still Following Xev.
Posts: 107
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I shall not refer to Stan as a "red-shirt".
:stan-h:

I shall not store drinks and refreshments in the Cryochamber.
:smiley_233:

I shall not hide under Xev's bed nor in her closet.
:P

 

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
37. I shall not throw a pajama party on the Lexx!

38. I shall not give Kai a make-over!

39. I shall not use 790 as a champagne cooler!

Last edited on Fri Nov 17th, 2006 05:03 am by Ketana

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
40. I will not run around the Lexx holding a carrot saying I need to be probed by Kai. :carrot1:

Wayward Kitty
Heretic


Joined: Sat Oct 28th, 2006
Location: Stuck In The Middle With You
Posts: 66
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
41. I will not tell Stan he has won a luxury week with six porn stars, fly him personally to the 'meeting spot' in a moth, and then proceed to leave him in some remote section of No-Man's-Land for a week while I take a holiday from him.... (often)

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
42. After a nite of kinky sex I will not ask Kai if I can smoke his cod-piece instead of  a cigarette. :c030a:

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
43.  I will not become a lesbian in the hopes the Lyekka eats me.

mayaXXX
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Dark Zone, Naturally
Posts: 2464
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
44. I will not serve Brizon liver and onions for dinner.

45. I will not offer Giggerota the Wicked a subscription to 'Bon Appetit'...she's on the cover already..

46. I will not send Thodin a gift card for a new wardrobe at Ann Klein's..

47. I will not take candid pics of Poetman in a black bustier and stockings
.:ladywinks:

:flute2champ:     :thanks2:

Last edited on Mon Nov 20th, 2006 04:27 am by mayaXXX

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
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Mana: 
48.  I am not allowed to play six-gun shooter with the mothbreeders.

MOK
Heretic


Joined: Thu Nov 9th, 2006
Location: San Antonio, Texas USA
Posts: 25
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
49.  I will not stand near the "bigger, harder moths" guy.:c030a:

Last edited on Tue Nov 21st, 2006 03:50 am by MOK

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
50.  I will not ask Xev to become Cobra's manicurist.

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
51. I shall not steal Moth's and go joy riding through the Lexx shouting, "catch me if you can!" 

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
52.  I will not play truth or dare with Stan.

mayaXXX
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Dark Zone, Naturally
Posts: 2464
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
53. I will not run the Lexx thru the Intergallactic Car Wash.

54. I will not donate all of His Divine Shadow's robes to the Salvation Army.

55. I will not tie Stanley into his bed while sleeping, then yell 'Hey, it's the NAUGHTY NYMPHYMANIACS FROM NIMBUS NINE !"

56. I will  not give Mantrid 'Soap on a Rope' for Christmas.

57. I will not replace the cryopod frozen gas with Helium so that Kai starts talking like the Chipmunks.

 

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
58.  I will not tell Lexx there's an all you can eat BBQ planet in the next galaxy.

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
ORDER TAKE OUT PIZZA!

Domino's does not deliver to outerspace!

buwahahahahaahahaha...

 

Kai? Got change of a hunnred?

The dead do not do anchovies!

oh pooh!


Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not have an all night Kegger party with Poetman or I may end up abandoned on a dying planet.

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
not allowed to have a barbeque in the galley with Giggerota!


jerhume
Heretic


Joined: Sat Oct 28th, 2006
Location: Lexxfan Attic
Posts: 323
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
....not allowed to hang my pictures or put up any shelves..... Lexx, "ouch"

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
not allowed to play tic tac toe on the dead man's cyopod..no no no no! nor am I allowed to lick the glass screen either *ouch* no can I draw on the ice pornographic phallic symbols! no no no no! and no playing or pressing buttons on the control thingie ma jiggie!

 

MOK
Heretic


Joined: Thu Nov 9th, 2006
Location: San Antonio, Texas USA
Posts: 25
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Ketana wrote: not allowed to play tic tac toe on the dead man's cyopod..no no no no! nor am I allowed to lick the glass screen either *ouch* no can I draw on the ice pornographic phallic symbols! no no no no! and no playing or pressing buttons on the control thingie ma jiggie!

 

be careful how you "wake" the dead:shock:

Carl B Harrison
Heretic


Joined: Tue Oct 31st, 2006
Location: Sunderland, United Kingdom
Posts: 163
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not use toilet paper to wipe my bottom

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
You're not allowed to have bad carrots on the menu in the Lexx galley.

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Carl B Harrison wrote: I will not use toilet paper to wipe my bottom



CARL! I'VE THE PERFECT TOILET PAPER TO MATCH YOUR TOILET!

 

Carl B Harrison
Heretic


Joined: Tue Oct 31st, 2006
Location: Sunderland, United Kingdom
Posts: 163
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Ketana wrote:
Carl B Harrison wrote: I will not use toilet paper to wipe my bottom



CARL! I'VE THE PERFECT TOILET PAPER TO MATCH YOUR TOILET!

 


LOL... At least you would only need to use one piece at a time and that would be good considering us men use half a role when we go to the loo :adu-8:

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Carl B Harrison wrote: Ketana wrote:
Carl B Harrison wrote: I will not use toilet paper to wipe my bottom



CARL! I'VE THE PERFECT TOILET PAPER TO MATCH YOUR TOILET!

 


LOL... At least you would only need to use one piece at a time and that would be good considering us men use half a role when we go to the loo :adu-8:

Goodness, I must be a man then. :c030a::D

XS4Xevr
Heretic


Joined: Sat Oct 28th, 2006
Location: Still Following Xev.
Posts: 107
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
THOU SHALT NOT BRING ON BOARD THE LEXX ANY MORE OF THOSE FUNNY PINK MIST CANNISTERS!!! :fear2: 

mayaXXX
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Dark Zone, Naturally
Posts: 2464
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Hey don't forget to number your responses, hehe.

68. I will not make the Mothbreeders wear white spandex rhinestone Elvis jumpsuits.:fear2:

69. I will not add 'spoilers' and 'ground effects' to the Lexx's chasis.

70. I will not sign 790 up for 'Nailpolish of the Month' club.

71. I will not book Feppo and Smoor as a band to perform at Stan's birthday party.:c030a:

72. I  will not give Xev a Martha Stewart cookbook.

73. I will not change Kai's hairdo into a Flying Dutchman and enter him in the Houston Hair Wars Hairdressers competition, no matter how much he begs.

74. I will not give Prince a gift certificate for a 'Prince Albert' at the piercing parlor down the street.:new_shocked:

75.  I will not try the 'Surprise Meatloaf' at Giggy's house...
:ani-light1:
 

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not drag race the Lexx against a foreshadow.

KaithelastoftheBrunnenG
Heretic


Joined: Mon Dec 25th, 2006
Location: Las Vegas, USA
Posts: 1
Status:  Offline
Mana: 


 I will not loan my LEXX DVDs to any non-fan ever again!  Sorry about the brace.  The dead do not clean up human remains.



 

:D

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not be in the same room as someone that ask's Lyekka if she's hungry.

I will not let Stan go skydiving towards the water planet unless he's wearing a parachute.

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
oh pooh! not allowed to use Kai's smoking cod-piece as a fondue pot!

The dead do not like hot sticky chocolate dripping all over my salted pretzels! buwahahahahahahahahaha..

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not tell Kai he looks like a Cure reject.  (the music group The Cure)

Dragonflygurl
Heretic


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: I'm Everywhere And No Where
Posts: 7297
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not tell Kai that my nephew Tom says his bun looks like he's wearing a sleeping black cat with his tail dangling down his right side of his face, lol.

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not give into the urge to take off Stan's #4 hat.

Carl B Harrison
Heretic


Joined: Tue Oct 31st, 2006
Location: Sunderland, United Kingdom
Posts: 163
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Must never call Stan ..... Brian :stan-h:

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Carl B Harrison wrote: Must never call Stan ..... Brian :stan-h:

well then if you're going to go there...

never call the divine deadly assassin...

Mikey! 

jerhume
Heretic


Joined: Sat Oct 28th, 2006
Location: Lexxfan Attic
Posts: 323
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
..... or call the love slave Xenia!!

 

edited by the she-cat due to mis-spelling of Ms. Seeburg's name

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not build a bigger, harder mothbreeder.

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not ask Kai to think outside of the bun.

mayaXXX
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Dark Zone, Naturally
Posts: 2464
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
     

I will not 'authorize' the Lexx to blow up any planets.......:haha:

:heart99:

flash
Heretic


Joined: Tue Jan 23rd, 2007
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 11
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not give the key away!

I will not ask Stan what Prince was like in bed

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not get my tongue stuck on Kai's cryopod........again.

His divine Shadow
Heretic


Joined: Wed Dec 20th, 2006
Location: Edmonton, Alberta Canada
Posts: 17
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
MOK wrote: I will not turn my back on Stan.

 

Hiya ya'll....nice to see you in the light zone at last.....

That dark corner was just too depressing.

 

I am well....spending entirely too much time playing chromehounds (but I'm #13 in the world right now).  Will try not to be such a stranger in the future...I miss you guys (and gals).:c030a: 


Hey, your avatar looks familiar, I see your name is Mok and the only mok I know of is from that animated movie, Rock and Rule, where Mok was played by Iggy Pop I believe but also could have been Mick Jagger.  I only saw it once by luck, do you still have said movie????   As I would be interested in a copy (hint, hint).  I haven't seen it anywhere.

BTW, sorry to get off topic,

How about I will not put a pirate eye patch on 790.

 

Last edited on Thu Feb 15th, 2007 04:40 pm by His divine Shadow

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not steal the Lexx, pick up all my snow bound friends then hover over Megacon..umm..where can I park this thing?

lizard
Heretic
 

Joined: Fri Nov 3rd, 2006
Location:  
Posts: 52
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Never, ever try to clean the Lexx toilet with bleach.

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
lizard wrote: Never, ever try to clean the Lexx toilet with bleach.

BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh damn that's a good one Lizard! Good one!

 

I shall not stroke the Lexx food tube and beg for Ribs, Slaw and cornbread..cause it just ain't happenin'!

jerhume
Heretic


Joined: Sat Oct 28th, 2006
Location: Lexxfan Attic
Posts: 323
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
jerhume wrote: ..... or call the love slave Xenia!!

 

edited by the she-cat due to mis-spelling of Ms. Seeburg's name

Ah - I spelt it that way on purpose,  Ketana, because I know that to get that wrong is super-annoying! :D

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not wear a red dress and try to get the key to the Lexx from the guy in the blue suit.  :c030a:

Koudelka
Heretic


Joined: Tue Feb 20th, 2007
Location:  
Posts: 14
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Never use the shower head, for nothing more then just taking a shower.

 

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Thou shalt not cheat in a game of chess with the divine dead man..

mayaXXX
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Dark Zone, Naturally
Posts: 2464
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Ok, I"ve lost track of what number we're on, hehe..

I will not advertise the "Luvliner' for Schlemmi for free on the ship's vidscreens so I can get a date with 'Vartan"...:s010a:

I will not use the Lexx as collateral in poker games with Feppo and Smoor..

I will not sell Stanely H Tweedle's dirty clothes to the Bio-Hazard Engineers to research new viruses.

I will not tie Kail's locks to the crypod and then yell "Hey look,  It's the Divine Executioner!"

I will not sign Xev up as an  Avon Cosmetics door to door saleslady.

I will not melt 790 down and use him to fix the plumbing..

I will not turn Prince into a lawyer, he needs to be more Evil first.

 

 

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not drop kick 790 off the bridge, then repair him and turn him towards me as the first person he sees.

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
thou shalt not use the regenerator on the Lexx to try and grow a penis for Kai!

mayaXXX
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Dark Zone, Naturally
Posts: 2464
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not hide Vlad's hairspray and coat hangers.

I will not change the Mothbreeders overalls to hot pink.

I will not change the vid-screen on the Lexx to a big 62" Plasma just so I can see the Playoffs.

I will not put a beer dispenser on the Bridge's control panel.

I will not spike Lyekka's latest victim with weedkiller.

I will not make up an Organ Donor card for Kai.

I will not list His Divine Shadow as Brizon's 'next of kin' on his drivers license.

I will not give send Giggerota a catalog for "Goodies from Goodman"..




:easteregg2:

Last edited on Thu Apr 5th, 2007 05:48 am by mayaXXX

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not install toilet paper on the Lexx's toilet.

I will not ask to install a DVD player on the Lexx's screen panel.

:mickeyegg: 

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
:bunny4:I will not put rabbit ears on the Mothbreeders and tell Bunny they're Easter Bunnies.

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Angel wrote: :bunny4:I will not put rabbit ears on the Mothbreeders and tell Bunny they're Easter Bunnies.
buwahahahahahahaha...

StarTrekSlut
Heretic


Joined: Sun Apr 15th, 2007
Location: Coqulitam, British Columbia Canada
Posts: 15
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not tell the lexx to "make it so"

I will not paint 790 gold..... ... . .. .


I will not Initiate Klingon Mating Rituals with Xev (cluster lizard wins)


I will not Replace Kai's protoBlood With "Reagent"

mayaXXX
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Dark Zone, Naturally
Posts: 2464
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not send Prince chocolates while he still lives on Fire...ugh the mess.

I will not get Giggerota a gift certificate for Ann Klein's..

I will not tie Stanley's shoes together under the dinner table, then yell 'Here'sssssssss Lyekka !"

I will not enter Pa Guleen and Junior in Nascar as drivers, they're not Redneck enough.

I will not spike the food tube with runny green Jello and then hang a sign on it saying "Closed for repairs"

 
:fies:     :drink4:     :Stanshand:          :2567:          :c030a:    
 

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not get anywhere near Lyekka when she's hungry.

Mozenrath
Heretic


Joined: Fri Apr 20th, 2007
Location: The Dark Zone
Posts: 41
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I must not let Stan destroy the planet I'm from xD

NoClockThing
Heretic


Joined: Thu Mar 15th, 2007
Location:  
Posts: 388
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not let the robot head communicate with the Lexx.

mayaXXX
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Dark Zone, Naturally
Posts: 2464
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not give Prince a 'makeover' to look like 'The Artist formerly known as...."

I will not make an appointment with Brizon for a physical.

I will not paint daisies on Kai's cryopod to 'spruce it up'..

I will not steal Stan's girlie mags and replace them with 'Geriatrics Today' (well he is over 2000 years old now..)

I will not modify the Lexx chassis and engines to drag race at the Ostral B Rally 10000.

:LogoLexx:

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not use the toilet tongue to train the toddler to use the potty!

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not repair 790 then turn him towards me as the first person he sees.

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not offer to body spray the dead man so he can have an instant tan! buwahahahahahahahahaha

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Do not use Plumber's helper on the toilet tongue!!

 

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Never ever approach the Lexx in a ship that looks like a tasty snack!

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Have a fashion show!

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
try to fiddle with the dead man's rods!!

:D

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
tell Stanley I'm a virgin!!!

buwahahahahahahahahahaha..

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Ketana wrote: tell Stanley I'm a virgin!!!

buwahahahahahahahahahaha..

So which one are ya, Cherry?  HAHA! :c030a:

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Angel wrote: Ketana wrote: tell Stanley I'm a virgin!!!

buwahahahahahahahahahaha..

So which one are ya, Cherry?  HAHA! :c030a:

*snort* do ya really wanna go there Angelbreath?

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Ketana wrote: Angel wrote: Ketana wrote: tell Stanley I'm a virgin!!!

buwahahahahahahahahahaha..

So which one are ya, Cherry?  HAHA! :c030a:

*snort* do ya really wanna go there Angelbreath?

You KNOW I do! :s010a:

mayaXXX
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Dark Zone, Naturally
Posts: 2464
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not replace Kai's protoblood with windshield washer fluid.

I will not send 100 cadavars from Med school to Mantrid as catering for his birthday.

I will not send in applications to convents on Xev's behalf.

I will not spike Stan's breakfast with Viagra.

I will not have a tow-truck pick up 790 for an oil change.

I will not give Thodin a Lady Gilette for Christimas.

 

*I thought it was time to resurrect this thread*

 

:LogoLexx:      :0-02::carrots_disco::147::xgroupwave2:

Abby1964
Heretic


Joined: Fri Mar 26th, 2010
Location: San Antonio, Texas USA
Posts: 1915
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not inject Kai's expired Protoblood into the corpse of Hannibal Lector

"The dead do eat liver with fava beans and a nice Chianti"

doorknob
Heretic
 

Joined: Fri Apr 23rd, 2010
Location:  
Posts: 8
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not steal kai's hair pins
I will not feed pattern to my dinner guests
I will not worship his divine shadow

Abby1964
Heretic


Joined: Fri Mar 26th, 2010
Location: San Antonio, Texas USA
Posts: 1915
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not give Kai a gift wrapped case of Kleenex with a card reading "To Lyekka's  Booger"

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not use KY jelly on Kai's rods.

Abby1964
Heretic


Joined: Fri Mar 26th, 2010
Location: San Antonio, Texas USA
Posts: 1915
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Ketana wrote: I will not use KY jelly on Kai's rods.:rofl:

That was just wrong! almost as bad as using a Trojan Magnum to store them!


Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Abby1964 wrote: Ketana wrote: I will not use KY jelly on Kai's rods.:rofl:

That was just wrong! almost as bad as using a Trojan Magnum to store them!



buwahahahahahahahaha..I like you..youz bad!

Abby1964
Heretic


Joined: Fri Mar 26th, 2010
Location: San Antonio, Texas USA
Posts: 1915
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not attach any of Feppo and Smoors' er, probes to Kai while he's in Cryrosleep!

doorknob
Heretic
 

Joined: Fri Apr 23rd, 2010
Location:  
Posts: 8
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not eat carrots

CheshireKat
Divine Assassin


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Colorado USA
Posts: 2920
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not refuse to eat anything green.

Abby1964
Heretic


Joined: Fri Mar 26th, 2010
Location: San Antonio, Texas USA
Posts: 1915
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not suggest playing the following games:

Pin the Tail on the Dead Assassin
Lyekka Pod Pinata
Hide and Seek for the Key
Kick the Robot Head

mayaXXX
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Dark Zone, Naturally
Posts: 2464
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Ooohhhhh...kick the Robot Head...me likey !!

 

:boots3::7902:

Abby1964
Heretic


Joined: Fri Mar 26th, 2010
Location: San Antonio, Texas USA
Posts: 1915
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Extra point if he lands on the tongue!

darthomatic
Heretic


Joined: Mon Nov 23rd, 2009
Location:  
Posts: 184
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I'd quite like to feed pattern to my dinner guests :p

Abby1964
Heretic


Joined: Fri Mar 26th, 2010
Location: San Antonio, Texas USA
Posts: 1915
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not rent Kai to the local mortuary school as a "practice body"

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not use Kai's cryopod to make icecubes.

I will not switch Stan's #4 hat out with a baseball cap.

 

Abby1964
Heretic


Joined: Fri Mar 26th, 2010
Location: San Antonio, Texas USA
Posts: 1915
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not suggest hooking up a DVR playing A Nightmare on Elm Street /Friday the 13th/Halloween in a continuous loop to the cryopod controls to keep Kai from getting bored.

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not paint Kai's eyelids yellow while he's in cryosleep to scare Stan and Xev.

Abby1964
Heretic


Joined: Fri Mar 26th, 2010
Location: San Antonio, Texas USA
Posts: 1915
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not use Kai's "Codpeice cover" to play fetch with my dog

veyron
Heretic


Joined: Sat Oct 28th, 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 171
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not imagine where the soilent green goopy slop LEXX served me for breakfast came from.

Abby1964
Heretic


Joined: Fri Mar 26th, 2010
Location: San Antonio, Texas USA
Posts: 1915
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not accept an invitation to the Golene Family Reunion


mayaXXX
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Dark Zone, Naturally
Posts: 2464
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not send in Kai's pic to ' America's Next Top Model' recruitment drive.

I will not give Stanley the keys to Hugh Hefner's penthouse.

I will not sign Xev up for Yenta Sophie's Matchmaking Services.

I will not duct-tape 790 to a snowboard and send him down Black Angel Run

 

:BULLWHIP::badger::cat01::tweety:

 

Abby1964
Heretic


Joined: Fri Mar 26th, 2010
Location: San Antonio, Texas USA
Posts: 1915
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not get 790 a job as the new Radio Shack Spokesperson.

I will not get Kai a job with the local bomb squad as an Explosives Recovery Technician.

I will not get Stan a job as a security guard in sex doll manufacturing plant.

I will not get Xev a job with an exclusive escort agency.

They would enjoy it too much!

TeslaBrat
Heretic


Joined: Sun Dec 12th, 2010
Location: Kansas USA
Posts: 67
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not paint 790 orange and use him as a Halloween decoration.

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
gads I loved this thread!!

darthomatic
Heretic


Joined: Mon Nov 23rd, 2009
Location:  
Posts: 184
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
do you still love it?

Abby1964
Heretic


Joined: Fri Mar 26th, 2010
Location: San Antonio, Texas USA
Posts: 1915
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not amuse myself by squeezing the shower ball just to see the nozzle squirt

Adrift
Heretic


Joined: Wed Feb 9th, 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 74
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Abby1964 wrote:
I will not amuse myself by squeezing the shower ball just to see the nozzle squirt

eww

mayaXXX
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Dark Zone, Naturally
Posts: 2464
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Abby1964 wrote: I will not amuse myself by squeezing the shower ball just to see the nozzle squirt

That is so wrong on so many levels I can't even tell you...LOLOL

:new_shocked:

Jensau
Heretic


Joined: Thu Nov 25th, 2010
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 186
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Abby1964 wrote: I will not amuse myself by squeezing the shower ball just to see the nozzle squirt
Awww! :(

TeslaBrat
Heretic


Joined: Sun Dec 12th, 2010
Location: Kansas USA
Posts: 67
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not replace Kai's proto blood with maple syrup.

Nor will I decorate his brace with stick-on jewels.

And I will not replace Stan's hat with a fez.

Abby1964
Heretic


Joined: Fri Mar 26th, 2010
Location: San Antonio, Texas USA
Posts: 1915
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not use Kai's brace to trim the hedges

Kaden
Heretic


Joined: Sun Dec 19th, 2010
Location: A Little Blue Planet...
Posts: 344
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not play catch with 790 as the ball.

I will not try to set the moths free.

I will not draw a pencil mustache on Kai while he's 'sleeping.'

I will not try and steal the key (because we all know how it's passed on and... ewwww)

:STANHAND:  :c030a:

Kai-trina
Heretic


Joined: Mon Aug 30th, 2010
Location: Windsor, Ontario Canada
Posts: 23
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will NOT use the bum licking toilet! lol

TeslaBrat
Heretic


Joined: Sun Dec 12th, 2010
Location: Kansas USA
Posts: 67
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not use 790 as a door stop or paper weight.

Last edited on Thu Mar 31st, 2011 07:03 am by TeslaBrat

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not use 790's cart to race in the go cart races.

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not use Kai's cryopod as a personal air condition chamber..

TeslaBrat
Heretic


Joined: Sun Dec 12th, 2010
Location: Kansas USA
Posts: 67
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not use a hammer to pound 790 flat and use him as a frisbee (or a satellite dish).

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I am not supposed to use Kai's rods to fiddle around and try to see if I can get High Definition on the bug screen.

TeslaBrat
Heretic


Joined: Sun Dec 12th, 2010
Location: Kansas USA
Posts: 67
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not use Kai's cryopod to store ice cream.

Abby1964
Heretic


Joined: Fri Mar 26th, 2010
Location: San Antonio, Texas USA
Posts: 1915
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not stab the Lexx just to hear it say "Ouch, I am being penetrated."

Last edited on Sun Apr 3rd, 2011 05:19 pm by Abby1964

TeslaBrat
Heretic


Joined: Sun Dec 12th, 2010
Location: Kansas USA
Posts: 67
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not convert 790 into a toaster.

Kaden
Heretic


Joined: Sun Dec 19th, 2010
Location: A Little Blue Planet...
Posts: 344
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not play 'I spy' with the Lexx.

I will not reboot 790 with a moth breeder in his direct line of sight.

I will not base jump from the bridge.

I will not tinker with the cryopod to see all the ways Kai can wake up wrong.

I will not ponder too closely exactly what it is coming out of the food tube.

 

Abby1964
Heretic


Joined: Fri Mar 26th, 2010
Location: San Antonio, Texas USA
Posts: 1915
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not introduce 790 to Skynet(From the Terminator movies).

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Abby1964 wrote: I will not introduce 790 to Skynet(From the Terminator movies).
Oh lordy, I can only imagine....

Abby1964
Heretic


Joined: Fri Mar 26th, 2010
Location: San Antonio, Texas USA
Posts: 1915
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Angel wrote: Abby1964 wrote: I will not introduce 790 to Skynet(From the Terminator movies).
Oh lordy, I can only imagine....
That's what you call a nightmare of epic proportions!

LastBrunnenGstanding
Heretic


Joined: Wed Oct 5th, 2011
Location: Campbell, In The Dark Zone, California USA
Posts: 585
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
mayaXXX wrote:
57. I will not replace the cryopod frozen gas with Helium so that Kai starts talking like the Chipmunks.

 

OMG! I would love to see it made me laugh so hard Maya:bounce_pinka:

LastBrunnenGstanding
Heretic


Joined: Wed Oct 5th, 2011
Location: Campbell, In The Dark Zone, California USA
Posts: 585
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Abby1964 wrote: Angel wrote: Abby1964 wrote: I will not introduce 790 to Skynet(From the Terminator movies).
Oh lordy, I can only imagine....
That's what you call a nightmare of epic proportions!

He would Kill us all so no one gets near his Kai Kai :S this one is just scary >.<

LastBrunnenGstanding
Heretic


Joined: Wed Oct 5th, 2011
Location: Campbell, In The Dark Zone, California USA
Posts: 585
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Abby1964 wrote: I will not amuse myself by squeezing the shower ball just to see the nozzle squirt
You go Abby lol not out fault they made them look so dirty kinky to star out with :bouncebig:

Abby1964
Heretic


Joined: Fri Mar 26th, 2010
Location: San Antonio, Texas USA
Posts: 1915
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not hire Kai to stand at busy intersections selling the following bumper sticker:

Last edited on Sat Oct 22nd, 2011 06:32 pm by Abby1964

blakartz
Heretic
 

Joined: Wed Feb 20th, 2013
Location: Pauls Valley, Oklahoma USA
Posts: 59
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I must not drink protoblood in hopes of becoming a zombie for Halloween.

Arcticfox
Heretic


Joined: Tue Jun 11th, 2013
Location: State Of Confusion
Posts: 149
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not do fair face painting on Kai while he's in cryopod because the dead don't do face paint.

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not try to sell Avon in outer space..Kai has enough eye liner pencil..

Arcticfox
Heretic


Joined: Tue Jun 11th, 2013
Location: State Of Confusion
Posts: 149
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not use 790 for volley ball.

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Ketana wrote: I will not try to sell Avon in outer space..Kai has enough eye liner pencil..
He could use a some foundation though, he's been looking a bit pale.

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I shall not have bingo night with the mothbreeders..

Arcticfox
Heretic


Joined: Tue Jun 11th, 2013
Location: State Of Confusion
Posts: 149
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Will not bring bug spray on board.

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
will not ask Captain Stan if we could pop wheelies with the Lexx!

Arcticfox
Heretic


Joined: Tue Jun 11th, 2013
Location: State Of Confusion
Posts: 149
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not invite door to door sales people over just so Lexx can eat them.... Ok I take that back. I think that goes on the do list.

Angel
Divine Executioner


Joined: Tue Oct 24th, 2006
Location: Keeping Kool With Kai...
Posts: 11418
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I will not dress Stan up in a Santa suit and tell Lexx he's a reindeer.

Abby1964
Heretic


Joined: Fri Mar 26th, 2010
Location: San Antonio, Texas USA
Posts: 1915
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
Angel wrote:
I will not dress Stan up in a Santa suit and tell Lexx he's a reindeer.

Dammit and after I spent all that time painting an 80 foot ball red!

Ketana
Divine Assassin


Joined: Wed Oct 25th, 2006
Location: Lioness' Lair, USA
Posts: 2510
Status:  Offline
Mana: 
I shall not store my ice cream in the cryopod..



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